laugh. learn. grow

pray.

2011-07-24T07:32:00.000-07:00

i've been having an interesting week in terms of prayer... i've been asked to pray for a few people and when i did something really cool happened... each time i felt overcome by this feeling of privilege... like i got a glimpse of understanding of how privileged i am to not only get to pray for a friend and help carry their burdens, but what an amazing privilege it is to get to speak directly with the creator of the universe.

i am so thankful that i worship a God who is open and welcoming. He wants His children to come to him and talk to Him. He is an amazing Father, unlike any Father in the universe. He meets our every need and helps us get the most out of life, if we let Him.

who, or what can you pray for this week?

this was a picture i took on my bike ride home after work on Friday... it was so nice outside and i dunno... i just feel so blessed to get to live in a place where i'm free. free to do anything! jump in a river! bike in nature. its sweet. Thank you God!

jon juane has an identity crisis.

2011-06-23T19:23:00.000-07:00

my poor blog has been neglected quite a bit this last little while...

when i started it, my blog was a space where i could spew a lot of the spiritual stuff in my life i was processing.

then... life kind of ate up my time and i suddenly didn't have the time i once had to put all of my spiritual processing into perspective...

and then... the spiritual processing slowed down because i wasn't as intense digging into scriptures discovering sweet gems from God...

and then... something would happen and i'd feel like i was on the cusp of something sweet... like a spiritual revival of sorts...

but then i continued to let life eat my life.

last night i sat in bed from like 9:45 until 12:30 unable to sleep. totally exhausted but my brain would not shut off.

all i could think about was how i have always known my life was destined for greatness but i feel like i'm thriving at mediocrity. i'm forgetting who i am.

two years ago i felt so in tune with who i was at that particular season of my life and today i feel so out of tune i can barely recognize myself in the mirror. i see traces of "me" but i struggle with knowing if that is REALLY me... how authentic am i being?

i need some quality time with God. i need to soak in His presence. let His word totally renew my mind and recharge my soul. through this whole time I have never felt far from God... just ignorantly undisciplined.

i talk to God every day, all day. i feel as intimate with the creator of the universe as i have for a while now, i just feel ignorant. stagnant. i'm not learning new exciting stuff anymore. i'm just in a dry place. but i am still totally captivated by who He is.

cynics can scoff all they want, but Jesus Christ is unbelievable. read His teachings... they are unlike anything imaginable. they are SO inspired by God it's unreal... what historic leader other than Jesus expanded their empire with love and not force? whatever. i'm totally getting off track here.

so major identity crisis- whatever. i think it's called growing up.

if i'm really honest with myself, the whole thought of growing up terrifies the living daylights out of me.

what does that expression even mean? living daylights? pfff.

thats all for now. thanks for reading my ramblings.

The Crafty Husband- Etsy Contest Ends THIS FRIDAY!

2011-06-20T08:29:00.000-07:00

My Etsy contest ends this Friday! June 24 2011! To win 5 FREE buttons of your choice all you need to do is Tweet or update your Facebook status talking about your favourite button in my Etsy shop.

On Facebook make sure to tag my facebook page @The Crafty Husband and on Twitter make sure to tag @craftyhusband

Good luck!

Etsy: http://etsy.com/shop/jonjuane
Check out my Facebook Page and "like" it! http://facebook.com/thecraftyhusband

i made bagels

2011-06-17T04:44:00.000-07:00

i made bagels a while ago, and they were seriously delicious. i took some pictures so i thought i should share them with you...

in case you don't know this about me, i am absolutely addicted to bagels. we live down the street from a Kettlemans, which just might have the best bagels in the world. I had to cut back on my bagel intake because it was just getting out of control! Anyways, one day I thought i should try making some bagels of my own... I looked up a recipe online and just went for it! Here's what it looked like:

mixed the dough in our kitchenaid mixer and cut off chunks of dough.

rolled the dough into rings.

shaped them the bagels and let them sit for a few minutes on a tray.

boiled them for a minute on each side.

threw some sesame seeds on them! yummo.

baked them for 10 minutes on each side.

the end!

They didn't turn out to be nearly as good as Kettlemans, but that was expected. They were still delicious though!

I just got my wisdom teeth taken out yesterday morning so looking at these pictures is almost torture!

Etsy Contest!

2011-06-16T17:06:00.001-07:00

So to promote my Etsy business I'm running a little contest. The winner will get 5 FREE buttons of their choice! woo hoo!

To enter the draw, it's super easy. All you need to do is Tweet or update your Facebook status talking about your favourite button in my Etsy shop. On Facebook make sure to tag my facebook page @The Crafty Husband and on Twitter make sure to @craftyhusband

Good luck!

Etsy: http://etsy.com/shop/jonjuane
Facebook: http://facebook.com/thecraftyhusband

God's love is extravagant

2011-05-25T18:26:00.000-07:00

For the last few weeks I've just been feeling like I'm getting drenched in the love of God. His favour is so heavy on me it's hard to walk! Despite this miserable cold I've been fighting, it's awesome.

This weekend my sister-in-law Jenna married my great friend and former housemate Jesse from university. Getting to hang out with family in Muskoka was just fantastic. My family was invited to the wedding too which was cool! My mom, sister, brother-in-law and their kids were all there to celebrate... Watching Jesse and Jenna's parents during the whole wedding was just a great reminder of how much God loves us. The look in their eyes the whole weekend was just screaming "I LOVE YOU! I'M SO PROUD OF YOU! I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU! I LOVE YOU!"

That is what I think God's eyes cry out when He looks down on us everyday but we clutter our lives with so much crap we can't see or hear Him.

I'm missing my church but luckily I was invited to participate in this men's group on Sunday nights. It's great. I feel like I'm learning by osmosis.

My mind is all over the place. Time to watch a movie with Charlo.

Goodnight.

must blog more.

In totally unrelated news- check out this massive dead fish I saw floating in the Rideau Canal last night when Char and I were biking home from a fun date. Sickness.

oh my word.

2011-03-10T19:09:00.000-08:00

i need to blog it out people.

so tired- need to elaborate more later.

my aunt passed away last saturday- and Jesus has been showing up in my life with POWER.

i'm hearing Him like crazy and it's sweet. i'm seeing Him like crazy and it's sweet. He has been my strength and hope and peace through this whole process... and i have crazy peace. Thank you Jesus!

please pray for saturday. it's her funeral and i just KNOW God has big plans for this... there will be people there who He wants to speak to. it might just be one person, it might be a lot... but I know God is showing up- and its going to be sweet.

thank you Jesus! you are real, and powerful, and full of grace and peace.

a "huggie" from God

2011-02-13T09:25:00.000-08:00

this week I saw the church in action.

You might be asking yourself "how can a building take action? It's a building..." but that's just it- the church isn't a building. It's a group of people who truly believe in the power of God. And not just believe as in they endorse a set of philosophical principles, their belief is demonstrated through action.

I was standing at the bus stop on my way to work and I overheard this man talking with his friend who was begging for money in front of Tim Hortons...

He was telling her about how his wife was at the store and they had no money left but they really needed to buy diapers for their baby, and this random woman came up to her and said "God told me to give this to you."

He told her that she had just enough money to pay for her diapers, and was also able to buy a rattle.

I got chills.

I love it when God does stuff like that. He speaks to the church, and they move. Something about that just makes me want to sing. I love it when God does things that are so REAL and tangible that people can't help but tell everyone around them about it.

That's the kind of God I have come to know- a wonderful, loving, caring, personal God who knows our needs and is calling out to us. I couldn't stop smiling- I wanted to just turn around and start singing sweet tunes from Sister Act 2... I wanted to tell them, "I KNOW HIM! that's MY God!"

but I didn't. i just smiled and got on my bus.

sidenote: what the flip are "BABY SHAPED" diapers?! aren't all diapers shaped for a baby? lame.

give the gospel this christmas

2010-12-11T19:13:00.000-08:00

a note from my friends who are doing some really cool things this Christmas in Ottawa! you might think it's lame, but i think it's wonderful! wanna help? sign up here

Dear Friends! Merry Christmas!! In the next couple of weeks the malls are going to get busier, the streets are going to light up with Christmas lights, side walks are going to become crunchy with snow and our houses are going to be filled with Christmas food and family and friends. For some people.. this is what defines the Christmas season... What if... this Christmas families across Ottawa encountered Jesus! What if...this Christmas people in Ottawa encountered the love of God??!!! ... what greater gift can we give this Christmas ... than the Gospel! As some of you may remember, back in December 2008 we (The Lower Town Ministry) had an outreach here in Lowertown where we went door to door and handed out a copy of the Jesus DVD (in 17 languages). We did this to approximately 3000 doors here in our neighborhood! Because of that distribution, we connected with many neighbors and developed relationships that still exist. In addition to Lowertown, there are 4 other neighborhood in the west-end of the city that we want to distribute Jesus Dvd's as well. In total, we are hoping to distribute approximately 8000 dvds to 5 neighborhoods! Would you consider signing up to help us distribute the Jesus Film DVD's for NEXT WEEKEND: DECEMBER 18th and 19th? We need all the help we can get. Please feel free to forward this to you friends.

green christmas

2010-12-08T18:58:00.000-08:00

i made some fun stuff with a Metro newspaper and a bunch of garbage!

we're having a 'pod' decorating contest at work for christmas... i work in an open concept 'pod' style office with four desks and a little table in the middle... i might post some pictures when its all decorated.. but i wanted to post some of the stuff i made on my breaks and lunches over the last few days!

our theme for our pod is 'green' so i've been making stuff out of recycled paper, newspapers, old file folders, old brochures and whatever was sitting around the office!

i started with the usual- paper link chains...

but then made a wreath!... its made of an old file folder as the base, and then i chopped up some old brochures that were sitting around.

the bow is made from a yellow napkin that was sitting on my boss' desk

and then my coolest creation... it started with a file folder that i made into a cone...

then, after chopping up a free Metro newspaper, and using a little glue- a GREEN christmas tree!

the trunk is made from made a coffee sleeve from my morning coffee Monday from Francescos in the Glebe. to stand the tree up i stuffed the top with the leftover newspaper bits and used masking tape to fasten it together.

the star is made from chopped up pieces of the Metro paper!

what can YOU make with stuff sitting around your office to spread some christmas cheer? dun dun dunnnnn

etsy!

2010-11-27T09:59:00.000-08:00

i opened up a store on etsy.com! its sweet... i like to make things... and now i can sell them to people!

spiritual warfare

2010-11-18T16:05:00.000-08:00

I'm going through a navigators discipleship book with another married man from church. He is a huge blessing because he is cool, young and solid. This isn't to say uncool old people who are... liquid? aren't a blessing but I just really appreciate how he can speak into my life and share wisdom from marriage and life... Aaaaanyways

One of the questions in our book was "what are similarities between spiritual warfare and a physical military battle?"

This question made us think about the preparation, training, vision and strategy that goes into a war. But one thing opened my eyes to something I've never considered before: In battle soldiers look out for the other soldiers in their troops right? They are constantly keeping their eyes open and watching each others back in case the enemy tries to hit them from behind. If they aren't unified disaster could occur on the battlefield.

Well that made me think about spiritual warfare in the same way. I should keep my eyes open watching for where the enemy might try to attack. Earlier in the study we talked about a bunch of passages that highlight how Satan attacks.

When Jesus was in the wilderness he tempted him with food and power. Adam and Eve were attacked with lies. The enemy started by planting doubt in their mind... Interesting eh?

Not only should I wear spiritual armor to protect myself, but I should also consider how I could help the body out

remember!

2010-11-11T13:15:00.000-08:00

today i had the day off for remembrance day and went downtown for the national remembrance day memorial... it was unreal... its like God has suddenly opened my eyes to the importance of remembrance day. i imagined what life would have been like if Canada didn't go to war against the Nazis... it was crazy. there are so many freedoms i take for granted.

the sky was SO blue. it was beautiful. there are many places in the world where the sky always looks grey. im happy Canada isn't one of those places. i'm not big into war and the forces and whatever, but i am thankful for the brave men and women who gave their lives for freedom in Canada. i've never sang O Canada like i did today.

and! it was awesome to see people of every generation out there to pay their respects and remember. it gives me hope for our country.

some minister prayed this very politically correct prayer which i found kind of strange- but whatever- God heard it.

constant work in progress

2010-11-10T21:45:00.001-08:00

tonight was such a reminder of how much of a work in progress i am...

we went to karaoke and it was a lot of fun... but man do i ever struggle with making fun of people.

there are some loonies out there. the same could be said about me i'm sure... but i think i'm a cool wierdo. is that even possible? haha

oh boy... Lord, you've got your work cut out for you! Good thing you're a might God- capable of refining anyone's character... even mine!

Real Church.

2010-10-31T07:19:00.000-07:00

For so many people church means nothing more than potlucks, hard uncomfortable pews, stained glass windows, old crusty people in sweater vests, self-righteous people with a lot of judgement to project on the world and meaningless routine and ceremony.

When I read the Bible and hear what Jesus has to say about the Kingdom of Heaven, and see how the early church lived and interacted with each other in the book of Acts, I see a totally different picture. Church is more than a building, it's a body of believers.

To be honest, Church for me used to be very similiar to what many people see it as, but God totally opened my eyes and heart to something real a few years ago and it has truly changed my life. its sweet and i love it. There is a sweet verse in the Bible that really sheds light on what i think real church is like.

You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love.
Galatians 5:13

This Saturday night at my church, I saw this verse manifest in the body of Christ. In non christianese that means this verse came to life through the people at my church. it was awesome.

My good friend Kristian is moving to Toronto to serve at a Korean church and before he left us he taught this awesome sermon from John 17. It is always a treat to hear him teach, but this time was extra special. He didn't hold anything back and just totally shared his heart and it moved a lot of people. I love it when the Holy Spirit is at work! Sidenote: John 17 is amazing. Kristian is so right. it is a treat to get a peak into the intimate prayer life of Jesus and God the Father. amazing.

BAck to that verse in Galatians- Kristian shared the freedom he has found in God and out of that freedom he has totally served at our church. He said something that really stuck out to me about how sometimes it's really difficult to share or give someone else a taste of a powerful experience or emotion you've had- but you can certainly pray for it. i love that. and i see him doing that in his life. this guy really understands and believes in the power of prayer. man, im going to miss him.

After his teaching i got to experience and witness something really cool. My pastor Andy led us in communion and encouraged the body to serve each other. My friends Vera and Robin were there and Robin got a message from God for this girl... It was really cool because she knew it was for her! This lady is wonderful and going through some tough times right now, so would you just pray for her? God knows her name and her circumstances, but if you could take a second and just ask God to surround this girl with love, peace and rest that would be awesome!

It just got better and better... two solid brothers in the faith came up and prayed for me and it was so encouraging. I just feel so blessed to get to attend a church where so many people take their faith in Jesus seriously. it's not some religious club where people go to check a box on their list of weekly activities... its a place where people from all over Ottawa come to encounter God and spend time with Him and the people who love Him.

OH! and another sweet thing that God showed me was this amazing guy Jason Smith... this guy really embodies Galatians 5:13 for me. He has a mega huge servant heart and is totally living out of the freedom God has granted him and serving people out of that freedom. amazing! Thank you God for Jason!

God, you are awesome. Thank you for this! AND! it snowed! thats fun.

blog

2010-10-28T10:07:00.000-07:00

the word blog sounds like such a dirty word.

BLOG.

Thank you Lord for wise friends

2010-09-15T13:53:00.000-07:00

A great bit of wisdom from my wonderful friend Sarah Shedden.

you feel hurt and that is okay. Those feelings are totally valid. Feel what you feel but don't let it turn to bitterness or anger.

thank you God for good friends who know you and speak words from you!

What do you want in life?

2010-09-13T15:24:00.000-07:00

seriously, think about it. every day when you wake up... where do you go? what do you do? why do you do what you do? what is it all for?

i think every now and then we ask ourselves questions like that, but the chaos of life smothers our brains and we give up on finding/working towards answers... we just keep pushing forward getting to the next uncertain destination... but what is the end goal?

when is it the right time to think about that end goal? do you even care?

when i was younger i would often dream about what i would do "when i grow up"...

well, i'm pretty sure that "grow up" time is here. i'm not a kid anymore, but, i am still quite young and mobile... so what about those dreams?

i feel like i'm on the brink of something really sweet and exciting... God is stirring some things in my heart and mind and i think the next few years will be some of the most action packed years of my life.

I think i'm starting to figure out what I want to do with my life. What about you?

I want to make a difference. I want to die happy with no regrets. I want to share this hope I found in Jesus with the world. I want to know God better. I want to help people discover who they truly are! I want to grow! I want to travel. I want to see, eat and laugh. I want to live.

I want to live like God wants me to live. I want to bless people and make them smile. I want to sing and make things. I want to help other people improve the quality of their lives. I want to die and know that I did the best possible job of living with this one precious life God gave me.

My church is growing!

2010-09-12T07:08:00.000-07:00

it's really sweet to see how God has been moving through my church! Last night I was able to attend our new Saturday night church service at the Jack Purcell Community Centre on elgin street. It was sweet! so many new fun people! I can't wait to see what God has in store!

Andy preached a sweet sermon. man. what a blessing it is to attend a church where your pastor is a real man of God. He loves God, loves the Bible, loves his wife, loves his kids, and loves his community. When you have a good talk with him it will really mess with your head... he is so wise, but still young and fun. it's like he is a 15 year old, 80 year old, and 40 year old all at the same time.

I think they put something in the water in Florida, because another really awesome couple just arrived from Florida.

Their names are Ryan and Rachel Saul and I've only chatted with them a few times, but so far, so good! They are a great example of people who trust in God's provision, and have two and a half sweet kids. (the half isnt born yet) Check out their blog. You will love these people and want to be their friends.

I'm really excited for all of this. I have been richly blessed by having a relationship with Jesus Christ, and I think this church is going to give a lot of people in this city an opportunity to experience the same richness i have been blessed with.

Please pray that as a church we are able to hold onto truth, faith and integrity as the enemy tries to attack the ministry that God is doing in this city through this church.

Pray that God protects my pastor Andy and his family and covers them with His grace and love.

Pray that God richly blesses Ryan and Rachel's family and ministry. Pray that they experience and learn a whole new aspect of God's love while they serve God here in Canada. Pray that God blesses Rachel with a healthy pregnancy and that all three of their kids grow up to be strong believers in our amazing God.

mmm... abundant life is sweet.

its here!

2010-09-10T21:55:00.000-07:00

the men's conference has started! meeting lots of cool guys. need to sleep. my day has been INSANE

but great news! i passed my driving exam this morning! praise the Lord!

but even better news... God is amazing.

i wish more people in Ottawa wanted to know about Him. i find that i don't talk about Him that much because a lot of people just don't seem to be that interested in Jesus.

i think that's crazy. He is amazing. Even if you miss the boat on the fact that He is the son of God, His teachings revolutionized the world. He is awesome.

hmmm... brain ramblings mean its time for sleep.

my iphone is on its way to Canada.

woo hoo!

LOVE!

HOPE.

2010-09-01T19:18:00.000-07:00

My church is hosting this sweet men's conference. i'm helping organize it and i'm really pumped.

the theme is HOPE. something i think a lot of us need. myself included... and when you look attentively at the teachings of Jesus, i'm pretty sure you will find loads of it.

it's going to be sweet. so if you're a man, and able to be in the Ottawa area on the evening of September 10th until the early afternoon on the 11th... come! Details HERE!

destined for greatness

2010-08-26T19:41:00.000-07:00

let me tell you about my friend stef cooper. she and i both have this mutual understanding that we're destined for greatness.

she is awesome. the kind of friend you have for life and can pick up exactly where you left off. she was a major influencer in bringing me to a deep understanding of who Jesus truly is. lady gaga wants to be my friend stef cooper. but! what i love most about her is this understanding she has of abundant life.

stef really seems to understand that the life she has been given here on this earth has incredible meaning. she IS somebody. she has a purpose. and it's fantastic.

well, i have a similar conviction in my heart. i have always felt like my life is meant to accomplish something meaningful in this world. since becoming a true believer in Jesus Christ i feel like the possibility of turning that feeling into a reality is far more plausible.

In John 10:10 Jesus told his followers that he came that they may have life, and have it in the full.

that truth is so sweet. but at the same time, it saddens me to know that so many people associate Jesus with a list of rules and judgemental religiosity. that's not what He is truly about.

if that is your experience or understanding of Jesus, I hope and pray that He brings people into your life like He brought stef into mine... and then you can start to see how sweet this Jesus really is through that person. Stef wasn't your typical Christian... stef is stef. and she just happened to love God... that's what i love about her. she wasn't phoney and trying hard to put on the perfection production... she was just herself. and just invited me to come with her to church where i ended up learning a ton about Jesus.

this Bible study we're doing on Wednesdays is really enlightening me on a way deeper level to what Jesus' kingdom is really about. it's about full life. really sweet full life. and i feel like i'm just scratching the surface on the sweetness God has to offer me....

one of my favourite lessons i've been chewing on is this idea that Jesus tells his disciples that they are the light of the world. let your light shine before men so that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.

that's totally what i see in my friend stef. she let her light shine. for light to shine, it just has to be itself. it's naturally bright and penetrates darkness. i feel like she was herself, and i saw the life she was living, and as a result, felt inspired to do the same with my life and now... i can't help but praise my father in heaven.

blah blah blah... i dont even know what i'm talking about. i should go to bed.

in other news, i ordered the iphone4. i'm pretty excited about it.

Does it get any better than this?

2010-08-24T09:24:00.000-07:00

this is the verse of the day on biblegateway

“I love the LORD, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live.”- Psalm 116:1-2

ahhh... SO good, and so true.

i love it when you read a verse that speaks to your heart and make you feel like it expresses what you feel inside but have trouble expressing through words.

Lord you are good and your mercies endureth forever! I need to listen to some Israel now.

first bible study a big hit!

2010-07-14T19:52:00.000-07:00

tonight was my first bible study! it was a big hit! pretty hot upstairs on the second floor of the Bible House but God showed up and taught us some sweet stuff.

we're studying all of Jesus' teachings through the gospel of Matthew. Today we studied the beatitudes in Matthew 5 and got to see a great picture of His kingdom.

it's amazing how in Matthew 4 when satan brings Jesus up a mountain and tempts him with all the kingdoms of the world, Jesus turns it down and quotes scripture. in chapter five, Jesus goes up a mountain again and His disciples follow Him and Jesus paints this picture of a beautiful kingdom that is about mercy, honesty, gentleness.

i've never heard of a kingdom that expands through love and gentleness instead of force, aggression and violence. have you?

our study ended with the question of "Do you want to be aligned with this sort of kingdom?"

I love Jesus' kingdom. it's not flashy and sexy like the other kingdoms of the world... but it's good. and totally fulfilling.

this passage really humbles me. makes me realize how little i know, and how great, huge and wise God is. i love it i love it i love it.

I'm learning.

2010-07-07T20:37:00.001-07:00

i feel like i've officially entered a new season of life. may call for a new look on this bloggy blog. it's way too hot to sleep right now, so i might as well share with you!

it's been a fun adventure so far, this whole marriage thing! let me share a few things God had been teaching me recently.

1- your secret life (when you're all by yourself) is very important. it feeds into your private life (when you're at home with your family or close friends), and affects your public life (the "you" the rest of the world sees). God cares a lot about my secret life and wants to help me live a secret life of integrity!

2- it's important to live a life of integrity and stand up for what is right. cutting corners isn't right even if everyone around you is doing it. i really like this challenge because i think it's tough to 'self-assess' all the time, but important to try!

3- my call is to serve. i heard a great sermon from my pastor tonight where he shared a verse about whatever you do, do it as if you were serving the Lord. i'll find the reference later. its a popular one.

there are more things. but this is all for now! to be continued!

what do you think about?

2010-07-07T15:29:00.000-07:00

after a major trauma or tragedy have you ever heard someone say something like "it really puts life in to perspective"?

i definitely can relate every time i hear someone say that. it brings me back to the moments when i lost loved ones to long battles with Cancer, or when my close friend drowned the summer before my final year of high school.

a numbness came over my entire being and i started to realize the fragility of life and ask myself questions like, what happens when i die?

it's interesting though because without having a clear moment i can identify, once my grieving subsided life would just go right back to normal. i would still have moments every now or then when i miss the one i lost, but for the most part i just seem to adjust to life again.

why is that? don't you think this world would be way better if everyone lived like we were dying? pretty sure that's a country song ahha.. but seriously, I think Jesus wishes we did.

His way of life is not that far off the desires we have when something tragic in our lives happen. well, i'll speak for myself because i know many people react differently but i tend to want justice. and i dont want to waste any of the time i have left. i want to be purposeful and feel like when my time comes that i have no regrets. I want to understand God's role in the whole situation.

I am really compelled by the God of the Bible. He is a compassionate one who wants us to enjoy our lives. He is creative and resourceful and has ideas that are way bigger and better than mine. His perspective trumps mine. He is powerful and just. He does not lie. He is a God that wants to help me learn. He has answers for my questions and delights in watching me learn lessons as a teacher delights in a student who figures out a problem on their own. He has faith in me and wants to help me live a life with no regrets!

i think Jesus is awesome. His teachings blow my mind, and i am convinced that living life the way He encouraged people to live it over 2000 years ago, truly is the solution to that feeling we feel when "life is put into perspective"

Not convinced? Join my bible study. We start July 14th and we will be going through all of Jesus' teachings. it's going to be sweeeeet.

exciting

2010-06-27T13:36:00.001-07:00

so God is doing some really sweet stuff in downtown Ottawa.

my new friend cory is doing some really sweet stuff in Jesus name with his housemates in the Lowertown area.

my friends margie and angela came back from a trip where they shared the hope they have in Jesus in a country with a very dangerous cultural situation.

my pastor and some of the elders of our church are seeking God's will for our church as we will need to find a new building September 1st.

my wife is beaming a bright light of joy and kindness to the people at her work and trying to live a life of integrity and compassion.

my friend kristian is loaded with the spirit of God and is in training for something really big that i can hardly wait to see!

there is so much going on, i can't wait to jump into the thick of it.

i'm starting up a Wednesday Night inductive Bible Study downtown. it's been a while since i've led studies and feel a bit rusty but just need to do this! would you take a minute and pray for our study? please ask God to have His hand in directing the right hearts to this study and let His spirit come and minister to our hearts as we seek His truth within the scriptures. let me serve humbly and eagerly.

thanks! ill let you know how things progress!

a good life.

2010-06-23T14:01:00.001-07:00

So i've been thinking a lot about life values. Over the last few year's i've been working pretty hard on aligning my values with the ones I have learned in the Bible from Jesus's teachings.

For many of my close friends and family this came as a bit of surprise to them. A lot of people roll their eyes when I mention the word "Bible" or the name "Jesus." Why is that?

Some say it's old fashioned, or dated, but to those people, I would challenge to take a deeper look.

When it comes to living the one life i have been given, i can't think of a better way to live than the way of Jesus.

His way of life is all about integrity. being humble, gentle, and loving. looking out for the people nobody looks out for and most people forget exist. He is about pointing people to a bigger purpose on earth, and a God with love that is too big to describe in words.

His way of life isn't about lying, greed, power or hyper-sexuality. His way of life is about truth, generosity, humility and pure and fulfilling sex within the boundaries of marriage. His way of life is about fidelity and being faithful to one spouse through a lifelong commitment of marriage. a promise that lasts and withstands the storms of life and trials that come to test the bonds of the commitment.

His way of life isn't just about living a "good life" where you are good to people and never cheat, lie or kill someone. His way of life is fueled by a true understanding of who God is and living your life in response to that understanding of God's true identity.

I feel like i'm rambling a bit here... but can you show me a more fulfilling life than a life modeled by the life of Jesus?

Let's be clear here. tons of people in this world claim to be Christians, but their lives look nothing like Jesus. Their lives are not the ones i'm talking about. I'm talking about the people who are serious about Jesus in action and in word. They don't just talk about Bible verses and then live in complete opposition to what they supposedly believe. You could watch them for a day and through their compassion and love you know you're in the presence of someone who knows what life is supposed to be about. i'm talking about those people.

i hope you've met at least one of them, because their lives inspire me.

if you haven't met one yet, come check out my church. those people are real.

But I REALLY WANT TO!!

2010-06-16T03:31:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning at 5:30 am craving some English muffins… so I got up even though it was super early, and I decided to make myself some English muffins (3 to be exact) and then read Psalm 103.

I’ve been sick for the last two days, absolutely miserable. Haven’t really been able to eat much and have been sleeping like crazy! So it’s probably a good thing that I’m hungry again!

Anyways, this psalm 103 is pretty sweet. Let me share something that stood out to me this morning.

As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him; –Psalm 103:13

This verse here reminded me of something really cool I saw on Sunday. After church I drove with my pastor and his kids to go pick up our wives who were at a womens retreat on silver lake. My Pastor, Andy is pretty cool. He isn’t three thousand years old and all crusty, he’s young, fun, wise, friendly, and really knows the Jesus He talks to people about.

On the way to pick up our wives, we stopped in Perth to visit one of Andy’s friends who is also a pastor. Sidenote: I should find out if they are still friends… we stopped by this guys house because Andy needed someone to look after his 3 kids while we went to pick up our wives…haha… OH! but just you wait, this is the best part… Andy’s pastor friend from Perth… has 9 kids!

NINE?! yes. NINE. And they’re all still alive!!.... AND he and his wife still know how to SMILE! Mind you, I should mention his kids are amazing. I got to play with them and watch them climb trees and laugh and be silly. It was fun. Regardless, these people clearly know Jesus, otherwise I don’t know how you could handle 9 kids no matter how well behaved they might be. Then throw three more kids into the mix… haha… oh boy.

Anyways, getting back to my point here, this weekend I got to see a whole new side of Andy that I’ve never really seen before… The ‘disciplinary-dad’ side.

His youngest daughter Olivia, who is HILARIOUS, also happens to be an excellent bargainer. There were two little pools in the backyard, one mini kiddy pool, and then a bigger pool for the big kids. The bigger pool was pretty deep for her tiny four year old body, but she was serious about going into the big pool.

It actually looked like this.. without the guy who looks like me in it haha...

She asked Andy if she could go into the big pool about every four seconds for a 30 minute period. Of course, Andy said no explaining that the water was too deep and it wasn’t safe because she doesn’t know how to swim. She put on floaties and then asked again… of course, Andy explained that she couldn’t go in because it isn’t safe. Then she climbed the ladder to the pool and told him that she would just go on one of the floating water toys in the pool, and of course Andy had to explain that she could fall off and drown…. Finally Andy realized that there was no way she was going to give up on this. She wanted to go in REAL bad, even if it might kill her…

He knew that the only way she would learn and truly understand what he was talking about is if she was in the pool with the water over her head… so he took her and held her over the pool… she lost it! She was terrified! She was screaming and begging him to let her down. That still wasn’t enough, she wanted to go in… so holding onto her, he dips her into the pool but when she realized that she couldn’t touch the bottom and keep her head above the water she freaked out again and Andy pulled her out… She was really cute. When she was out of the water, she said “that was scary” and then went to the kiddy pool.

It was amazing to get to see this whole thing. It gave me a whole new understanding of God’s Fatherly love for us. I’ve always been in Olivia’s shoes, begging and pleading to go in the pool, holding no concern for the warnings people gave me for how dangerous or ridiculous it would be for me to go in.

What I saw was compassion. Andy had compassion and understood his daughter’s desire… but loved her enough to let her experience a healthy amount of fear so that she could understand for herself why sometimes as her father, he needs to set up some boundaries. These boundaries are not to restrict her fun, rather, they’re there to keep her alive, because he LOVES her and doesn’t want her to get hurt.

Have you ever thought of God like that? I truly believe He is a loving Father who knows best, even though I don’t always feel like He does in the moment. In the end, I’m able to look back at some of the things he told me to stay away from and I see why it was a good idea..

This is getting long, and I need to get to work! Thanks for reading!

more evidence of wonderful friendship

2010-05-05T19:19:00.000-07:00

another treat from my friend brian. when i saw a message in my inbox entitled "ooooh baby" i was definitely intrigued. the e-mail contained the following picture and the words:

"it's not just pigeons"

I love that God gave me funny friends. without them, life would be dry and boring.

Hope for brighter days

2010-05-05T17:41:00.000-07:00

if you pray, i'd love it if you could pray for some wonderful friends of mine who are going through some really rough storms. God knows their names, knows their situations, and really loves them. and char and i really love them too.

it's really tough to watch people you love hurt so much, but these people are so inspiring. they are so strong, and have a faith in God that inspires my faith in God! thanks everyone!

hope you're all having a great week!!

the animals are out to get me.

2010-04-29T19:44:00.000-07:00

i started biking to work.

i lock my bike on the fire escape stairs behind my building but in the morning walk down this alley where we throw our garbage.

every morning i am greeted by a psycho squirrel. this morning he dropped the moldy bread he was eating, and then then darted up the fire escape stairs. stopped. and stared at me. eye level.

creep.

i actually told him to go away.

he did.

as i unlocked my bike, the noise of terror flapped above my head.

pigeons.

my life is so tough

who is normal?

2010-04-28T19:10:00.000-07:00

i'm so strange, and so are you.

honestly, who is normal anyways? we're all a little strange. the people in the word that i admire the most just accept the fact that they are strange and just own it.

why would i want to be normal?

i am wonderfully strange, and so is my wife. and because of that, life is grand.

He takes care of me.

2010-04-27T09:29:00.000-07:00

the last few days i've been feeling a massive peace come over me... the truth that God is taking care of me feels so real right now. it's wonderful.

over the last few days i've just been experiencing God strengthen my marriage and bring my wife and i closer on a relational, and spiritual level! we've been blessed with great company and shared wonderful food, wild laughs and just really sweet moments.

both of our work lives are also brightening and a deep sense of fulfillment is starting to be a constant.

we're making some really authentic friends and having wonderful people over for dinner and games on a regular basis.

it's all pretty sweet. thanks God.

You know you have real friends when...

2010-04-08T20:33:00.000-07:00

this is from my friend Brian who is getting married this weekend... I'm pretty excited for this wedding because him and his fantastic bride are amazing people and it's going to be so much fun to get to celebrate with them as they make a commitment in front of their friends, family and God to be married together for life!

i get to be the MC at their reception! pretty pumped about it! i have my spandex unitard all bedazzled and ready to go... (kidding brian)... but as a token of their appreciation, this is what Brian and Jill have made for me. i love them, they are hilarious.

THE PIGEON SAGA CONTINUES!

2010-04-07T12:29:00.000-07:00

so, i bet you're wondering what's going on with the pigeon drama in casa del juane.

well.

move-in day was an adventure and a half (see previous post)... something disgusting occurred as we packed up the stuff on the balcony of our old apartment..

the flying beasts made a new home in the flower pot in the corner of our balcony. sickos. as we were taking things off our balcony the evil demon with wings stared at me... and then got up and flew away because i frightened her.. but as she got up i saw a SLIMY DISGUSTING EGG come out from under her! RIGHT INTO MY PLANTER!

i know she did it just for effect too. rude.

we ended up leaving the flower pot with the horrendous egg on the balcony undisturbed.

that pigeon owes me 12.99 for the planter.

... you think that's the end don't you?

HA HA! it's just the beginning... they have followed me to the GLEBE! PUTRESCENT beasts!

every morning i hear a pigeon orgy outside my window. i checked and saw a whole bunch of pigeons flying into the vent hole on the top of our building that they have turned into an indecent pigeon sex club.

they have yet to touch our new mini-balcony. but i'm sure it's only a matter of time.

p.s. i didn't fry the pigeon egg... although i was tempted. it's more of a scare tactic just in case the pigeons read my blog.

Moving Day...

2010-04-07T11:07:00.001-07:00

Two Saturdays ago my wife Charlotte and I moved into our new apartment in the Glebe... it was an eventful day to say the least...

Char and I woke up just past 4am to finish off the packing for our move... we had to pick up a U-Haul van at 7:00am so an early start to the day was necessary...

Our friend from Church, Derek, came over to help us move around 7:30 so we started to pack up the U-Haul with a bunch of stuff.

Because our elevator is the slowest running elevator in existence it took us a while to bring things downstairs...

my friend Sally came over and she borrowed a van from her family that we also used, so once that was all full we started to head over to the Glebe for the first of many trips in unloading our stuff. Sally went to pick up our friend Liz who was also going to help us unload and would meet us at the apartment, so we just ventured off to the Glebe...

As we drove down Bank Street we noticed a giant cloud of smoke in the sky that appeared to be coming from our street...

Just to give you an idea of what was running through Char and my head at this point... two nights before this my brother-in-law who is a contractor came to the new place with us to check it out... we showed him some of the things that needed to be fixed up which included a broken light switch in the masterbedroom... the switch doesn't ever turn off because it broke somehow so whether you flip it up or down it just doesn't change, the light always stays on... he told us that was a serious problem and we should have it looked at really soon because it is a major fire hazard.

DUN DUN DUN...

so we approach our street and see fire trucks everywhere blocking the entrance to our street and we detour trying to figure out if our building is on fire...

i jump out of the van and start running towards the smoke to figure out what is going on.

i had a giant knot inside my stomach thinking about all of the stuff we already moved into the apartment and just cringed at the thought of all of it being burnt to ashes! my laptop, every article of clothing my wife and i own besides what we were wearing that day were sitting in the apartment, a new desk we bought the night before, pictures and scrapbooks... ahhh...

as i got closer to the fire i realized the fire was thankfully not our building but the house directly in front of our place. there was a police 'do not cross' line and fire trucks everywhere... i asked the fireman if i could cross and get into my apartment and he said i could go but i had to keep my windows and doors closed.

this is a shot from the view of our living room window:

Since we couldn't move anything into the apartment we cleaned up a lot and i fixed the couch we bought on kijiji. By around 2:00pm all of our helpers had to leave as we had thought the whole move would be done by noon... so Char and I had this massive Uhaul full of stuff we were going to have to lug up our stairs to the apartment... The firetrucks were still blocking the entrance to our building and the roads were blocked off so there was no way we could get our stuff in, so we went to subway to grab some lunch.

While we were eating i saw this group of young guys trying to share the gospel with the people who worked at subway... the girl who worked there was amazing. she was from somewhere in Africa and had the kind of smile that lights up a room with warm joy. When the guys approached her with their Bibles she replied "this is a place of work, I cannot discuss these matters, but I like Christ. and I know Him."

i got all fired up inside! what a lady!

anyways, the guys seemed pretty discouraged and just stood near the entrance waiting for their friends who were in the bathroom. i leaned over and asked what Church they go to and we got into a great conversation... turns out they were mostly in high school and all went to different churches. there was a guy there who seemed a bit older and was probably closer to my age but they just lit up when they found out we were Christians and help run the youth ministry at our church.

After a bit of conversation it was getting pretty close to 4pm so, Char and I left subway and noticed the firetrucks were starting to move away....then my brilliant wife had the idea of asking these random evangelists to help us unload the van! and they DID! it was amazing! they moved so fast and helped us get everything from the first load into the apartment! Praise the Lord!

We then got a call from my brother-in-law who was not able to help us earlier because he had a family commitment that day... he was calling to find out how the move was going and told us that he could help us! Praise the Lord some more!

Him and his friend Robby, along with Char's sister Jenna came along and helped us load the last of the huge pieces into the van, truck and car...

By 12:30am we had EVERYTHING in our home and it was BEDTIME!

Char and I had a good chat about the whole thing and both realized how important it is for us to not be attached to our material possessions... as much as we love our home and everything in it.. it's all just STUFF! lots of our stuff have memories attached to them, but just because the stuff is gone does not mean the memory has to go with it. Thank you God for the best life insurance I could ever have.

What is Easter and why do I have the day off?

2010-04-02T05:49:00.001-07:00

... have you ever thought about why you don't have to go to work or school today?

"Uh, It's Easter so we get a long weekend moron"...

but what is the deal with Easter?

"2000 years ago a man in a white robe and hippy long hair was tortured and nailed to a cross... and then allegedly rose from the dead"

????!?! WHAT??!

You might have heard this story many times but I hope and pray that this year, it means something more to you...

For years I would hear this story like many of you and just take it in without really processing it... but then 11 years ago i heard the Easter story and it was presented to me in a way that meant something to my current reality... i was compelled by the love of this mighty powerful God of the Jews who sent His son Jesus as not only a sacrifice to make up for all the ways I am unable to, but also to show me the way to real life.

Jesus taught and lived a way that is good news for everyone. He revealed the working solution to life. His way is a one that is compassionate to those in need, where the hidden people in society are not forgotten, but cherished. His way redefines the concepts of power, truth and love. His way is amazing.

TODAY IS REMEMBRANCE DAY

November 11th millions of people around the world stop and pay respect to those who fought for us and died for our freedom. A lot of veterans and their children and grandchildren are starting to worry that people are going to forget what happened... we celebrate Remembrance Day and wear poppies because we don't want to forget what ACTUALLY HAPPENED.

well today, as a child of the ultimate veteran, I don't want the world to forget what ACTUALLY HAPPENED. This is a day where Christians wear their own figurative poppy and share the message of freedom that moves us to tears. What does your poppy look like today?
So today, I hope you take a minute and wrestle with this story... I believe it to be true, I believe it to be relevant, and I believe it to have the power to change all of our lives.

Thank you Jesus for what you did today, over two thousand years ago. Thank you for who you are and what you are doing today. I pray that someone out there reads this and is compelled by your love and truth in the same way I was 11 years ago.

I am amazed by how you handled yourself as you were tortured, mocked, and publicly humiliated.

I am sorry that this still happens today and psychotic people try and ruin your name by doing whacked out things in your name. I am also sorry for the Christians, myself included, who do that unintentionally. But you are to be praised because despite the flaws of your followers, you remain beautiful and true, and fully worthy of our praise and respect.

Amen.

another nice day!

2010-03-22T19:33:00.001-07:00

morning started off rough. cold gloomy sky... get to the gym, no hot water... ice cold shower. grrr...

but then tonight we got to spend some time with two really great friends and it just reminds me of how good God is in knowing what your soul needs and giving it to you. i've been in friend withdrawl and any contact with friends has been incredible.

thanks God

one of those days...

2010-03-21T19:33:00.000-07:00

ever have one of those days that just flies right by and the whole time you just feel like "wow... God is really real! He helped me through this whole day! Nice." ??

well. i think i had that day today. thanks God

the pigeons are everywhere

2010-03-20T10:11:00.001-07:00

pigeon nest that once had an egg in it has been abandoned. egg is nowhere to be found.

currently two pigeons are cuddling in the left corner of our balcony.

on the far right corner in one of our flower pots two other pigeons are getting ready to start a family.

there is so much pigeon sex on this balcony it's disgusting.

they don't even use protection. sickos. i can hear them right now.

Shane Claiborne and the Kingdom of God

2010-03-20T08:32:00.000-07:00

Last night I went to Dominion Chalmers to hear Shane Claiborne speak. An organization called The Open Table brought him to Ottawa and he taught on some really practical ways that we can live out this calling of Jesus. it was inspiring to say the least.

I have learned over the years that my walk with God is exactly that, a walk. It's a long journey that requires a really good pace. I have felt that at times i was running, and then at times i found myself sitting because i was too tuckered out to keep going... but i need to learn how to maintain a healthy pace to keep walking.

my father in law is a man i admire greatly and he told me that he wants to make sure he never stops walking with God. I don't either.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us

seeing and hearing shane speak reminded me of the truth that we are the light of the world. a city on a hill cannot be hidden.

this world is full of darkness and the role of Jesus' followers is to brighten it up with truth, love and hope of a God that is powerful, personal, loving and caring.

here are some of the notes i jotted down...

-the story of the Bible is a challenge to the patterns of this world that are destroying us. we need to live it out and offer people an alternative to the way our culture is living

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

-holiness in this world is living counter cultural

-Jesus didn't just come to teach us how to die, but how to REALLY LIVE!

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

-Christ's invitation to follow Him is not an invitation to ideology

-Jesus isn't coming back for a harem, He is coming back for a BRIDE. We need to remember we are ONE church, not catholic or protestant, we are the Church of Christ.

-We should be taking what we need for today, just like the hebrews who took their manna for each day. right now people are starving in other parts of the world and many north americans are dying of obesity. something has to change.

-If we have imagination in the Church we can do better.

-Out of respect for the creator of the world, we should respect His creation and take care of this planet... maybe i should stop hating on pigeons???

-Be a witness of peace and reconciliation.

Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called sons of God.

ahhhh... what a good night of teaching.

it concluded with some great challenging prayers and songs, and then we all got a piece of sidewalk chalk to go out and proclaim the truth on the streets of our city! my wife, sister-in-law and i took up the challenge. it was pretty hilarious... we got caught and some guy took pictures of what we wrote.

i wrote "even if you hate God, He still loves you." hope you know it's true.

hilarious discovery

2010-03-18T19:02:00.000-07:00

i have a little thing on my blog that tracks the number of hits i get a day and how people find my blog and whatnot... under keyword searches someone found my blog by typing "is christianity against sexy life?"

HAHAHAHHA

i find that funny. if you typed that and came to this blog, can we go for coffee sometime? i like you.

AMBER ALERT!

2010-03-18T18:50:00.000-07:00

today when i got home from work, i checked the balcony as per usual.

behind the storage box was the usual... mess of a nest built with twigs and pigeon feces.. only thing was there was no pigeon... and NO EGG!

no clue where these rascals have taken their egg. they're tricky little freaks trying to psych me out. i tell you the truth!

this morning the dirty beast was taking nest building supplies and roaming the balcony almost as if they were building another nest! i'm stumped. just where they want me...

but just you wait little pigeon devils. i will find you. and your little egg too.

on a slightly related topic, i stumbled across the scariest website on the internet! proceed with caution!

sweet heavenly music

2010-03-17T18:17:00.000-07:00

throughout the Bible there are tons of examples of people using music to connect with the almighty creator of the universe! the psalms are loaded with sweet songs from people to God! happy songs, sad songs, long songs...

i like songs too. and these are two albums that i think will helps loads of people connect with God. good music is a good thing.

1- NEWWORLDSON- new self-titled album... they're fantastic and soulful.

2- Genevieve Falleur... she has two albums, one in english and one in french... so good! this lady is going to be huge

Pigeon update

2010-03-17T10:03:00.000-07:00

so i'm sure you are all wondering what happened last night.

it was all quite hilarious. char, home from her run still in her running garb, and me in regular clothes with broom in hand, ventured off onto the fece infested balcony.

minutes before char came home i checked to see what the pigeons were up to. i threw some nails in their general direction to scare them away and they flew away... nest empty thank God.

right after char comes home i do the same thing and this time... FRESHLY LAID EGG!

we moved everything away from the nest to expose their home and send them the message that this is NOT the place to raise a family... they kept flying near us and i would scream like a girl waving the broom in the air, and char would caw at them like a wild bird woman.

they stayed away.

i went into panic mode and charlotte was getting frustrated with me yelling at me to man-up. she dragged the storage box away from the wall and their SICK egg rolled out of the nest and i freaked out. it all freaked me out too much i had to go inside. charlotte and i are laughing hysterically.

we go inside and see the pigeons return to their former home. squatters.

they paced around trying to figure out what to do and just plopped right on top of the egg as if nothing happened.

we shall see what happened today when i return home from work, but it's all quite dramatic. this morning i saw one of them taking bits from the nest and sneaking off to a different part of our balcony.

maybe they are making two nests. these sky rats must go.

why i married my wife...

2010-03-16T12:48:00.000-07:00

So, I hate pigeons. i know God made them and because of that i should love them... well, i don't. they are evil.

anyways, i have had quite the adventure with pigeons on my balcony over the last year. last summer a hideous sex-crazed pigeon couple would wake me up every morning as they had loud graphic pigeon sex... they then proceeded to make a nest and lay eggs and poo all over my balcony... then one of their babies died, and the mother returned to kill the last remaining baby pigeon. it was a bloody mess and it scarred me for life.

anyways, since the spring has arrived, these rats with wings have returned to my balcony to make love, poop on my things, and NEST.

today i discovered a nest behind one of our storage boxes and emailed my wife at work. this was her reply:

HAHAHAAHAHAHAH
this is hysterical.
i am ready to join you as co-nest destroyer.
we will defeat them once and for all.
let's catch one and tie its feet together and hang it from the roof of our balcony.
that should show them who's boss.
if we just wear our gardening gloves, we'll be fine.
and, we could just build a giant jungle out there and buy a small tiger to live on the balcony and any stragglers who decide to make an attempt to get through the thick, green, viney walls will simply be consumed by our orange striped friend.
what do you think?

i love my wife.

the beginning of something good! i hope...

2010-03-16T11:23:00.000-07:00

have you seen the movie julie and julia? well it's interesting... there is a woman named julie powell who really likes this famous cooking woman named julia child... and she goes on this intense journey for a year to try and cook every recipe in julia's cookbook and then she blogs about it daily. well, i think i need to kick up my faith and part of that is making sure i'm staying up to date with reflecting on God;s goodness..

so! i'm going to try to blog at least once a day for a month and see how that goes! i want to be thinking daily about how great this God is and share that with the world (or whoever is reading) because i truly believe He is REAL and RELEVANT... and i'd be selfish if i kept this to myself!

SO! Jesus, I hope these next few weeks are loaded with some exciting spiritual activity that get people interested in what you're doing in my life!

comfort.

2010-03-08T10:46:00.000-08:00

this is the verse of the day on biblegateway.com ...

i think it really relates to the fact that the Bible IS good news.

doesn't it comfort you a little to know that despite the fact that there is suffering in this world, God has almost given us the privilege of comforting and relating to others who are suffering?

If anything i think it's pretty sweet that the crap i endure could be used to help someone else sometime somewhere...

“[The God of All Comfort] Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.”- 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

good news revelation...

2010-03-02T09:29:00.000-08:00

the last few days i have been really overwhelmed with the truth and reality of how REAL and GOOD God really is!

sometimes i find it unfathomable that God is REAL and so gentle and kind and perfect...

i have this amazing conviction inside that points to his REALNESS and opens my eyes to all of the ridiculously convincing proof that HE IS.

does anyone out there know what i'm talking about? it's GREAT

Jesus never had an identity crisis

2010-01-28T15:43:00.000-08:00

in my last post i just vented a lot about the slight identity crisis i find myself in, but as i was searching the word for hope and enlightenment, i came across the truth that Jesus never had an identity crisis.

sidenote: this game is actually really sweet.

i think the major root of my identity crisis is i'm having a tough time reconciling the image and expectations i feel other people, God, my family, my friends, my work, and I have of myself.

in Mark 9 Jesus blows me away with his confidence and assurance of his identity.

Jesus and his disciples went on to the villages around Caesarea Philippi. On the way he asked them, "Who do people say I am?"

They replied, "Some say John the Baptist; others say Elijah; and still others, one of the prophets."

"But what about you?" he asked. "Who do you say I am?"
-Mark 8:27-29

when Jesus asks Peter who he thinks Jesus is, Peter's opinion won't and will never change the fact that Jesus is who He is. Jesus has an intense connection with God where He is so aware of who He is, other people's perception of Him does not distract Him from the truth.

i love it. i want that confidence. and, i think i'm actually making some sweet progress towards it.

i am at this wonderful place where i praise God with thankfulness for my wife and marriage, for my job, for my character, for my family, and for my life!

faith identity crisis

2010-01-23T19:56:00.000-08:00

i just realized tonight that for the last few months i have been going through a bit of a faith-identity crisis.

feel free to enjoy some personal ramblings.

a few years ago when i kicked it up a few notches on my faith journey with God, encountering the person of Jesus in an intentional way, it took some time to figure out how to 'do.'

there are many spiritual disciples Jesus encouraged his disciples to practice and i'm sure it took them some time to figure it out... but what i find insane is that some of his disciples had wives! what did their marriages look like?!

it boggles my mind.

i want to know what Jesus has to say about that you know?

the first few months of marriage for me has been a lot about figuring out priorities for my wife and i, for our faith, for our family etc...

i think as a university student i got into a groove eventually... i got into a rhythm i felt good about. a sort of routine. it was like my faith-identity was at peace... it just flowed and felt right. i felt like the same person at church, in class, at home, with friends, with family etc...

as a married man i feel like i'm having to relearn a lot of who i am. so much is shifting. the things i do every day are so different from what i did as a single man.

don't get me wrong, i'm loving married life so far! i'm just realizing how different it is. not bad different, not good different... just new!

life feels new and fresh! and i'm hopeful, just concerned i'm not doing enough. i wonder if i'm settling for a mediocre life. i know God has great plans for this life He gave me, and sometimes i wonder if i'm living under my potential you know? is the abundant life Jesus speaks of in the Bible this life i'm living now? a somewhat stable life with a government job, nice things and delicious food every night? should i be roughing it in haiti helping people find the hope they're looking for? rebuilding homes and holding lonely hands?

baaahhh

BUT! i don't think it matters so much WHAT you are doing as much as HOW you're doing it...

this is what happens inside my brain. i express my concerns with the way i'm living and then some other voice in my head fights with me. hahah... the voices...

anyways, back to what one of the voices in my head was saying: when i first decided to take this government job i prayed and prayed and prayed and felt major peace from God encouraging me to take this job and live differently. challenge the status quo. don't be like the stereotypical government worker who is lazy and reaps the benefits of tax payers... instead, work hard, shine a bright light, live out integrity to a whole new level...

bah.

i'm so glad God's love has nothing to do with how hard i work or how well i'm doing at being a "good Christian"

and this is clearly something i know and understand... i get that God loves me unconditionally... i just feel some bizarre internal need to do better. it's not God telling me to do better, it's me.

shut up me.

growing up

2010-01-05T13:39:00.001-08:00

i've been reflecting a lot over the last few months about my 'calling'... in university i thought i was really doing what i was supposed to be doing and life was sweet. today life feels pretty great, it's just different. growing up is tough.

i had such a great time in university working with students and helping them explore their faith and understanding of who God is and what role He wants to have in their lives... i would wake up every day with ease knowing i had a purpose. not only did i have purpose but i was passionate about that purpose.

fast forward a few years and school is over, i'm working a steady job, have a wife and a set of grown-up responsibilities but find myself feeling off balance in someway. i'm happy, just feel... different.

when i compare and contrast life in school to life after school i see a kind of growth and progress that seems to have faded. in university i was hungry for truth and was eager to learn about God and what the Bible teaches, but today i find myself struggling at times to be productively passionate about anything.

i can definitely recognize that throughout our lives we go through different seasons and they each have a specific purpose. some might feel more fun than others or feel harder than others but they each have a purpose right?

in my reflecting i've come to a place where i believe the time i experienced in university that was full of growth and change was a time of training. God was teaching me about Him in wild and amazing ways so that i could apply that to my faith, my career, my relationships, my family, my character etc.... but now i find myself in a different season.

i feel like i'm in early stages of real life. so much is new and i'm just figuring things out. i feel like bambi testing out his legs for the first time. things are wobbly and off balance, but in time i will figure out a rhythm and life will feel a little smoother... hopefully.

marriage is so exciting, but so challenging. everyone warned me that i had no idea what i was getting into... and they were right! i don't regret for one minute getting married though! i feel like im being sharpened and refined... i feel like im failing a lot, but i'm learning a lot from my mistakes. i'm being humbled and enlightened. i'm being challenged and corrected.

i miss God. i feel like i've been neglecting Him. life can get so busy and simplifying my schedule gets harder and harder as life goes on.

i have been thinking that i'm a giant heathen and have totally thrown God out of my everyday living, but He has been showing me over the last few days that Him and I still have a pretty good relationship. It's changing though.

A baby is really incapable of taking care of themselves. Their parents need to feed them, change them, move them, warm them up when they're cold, cater to their every need... a toddler who is learning to walk is full of life and excitement but not yet able to make decisions to ensure their own safety. their curiosity can sometimes lead them into really dangerous situations and parents step in to teach them boundaries and warn them of danger... a young kid is becoming more of their own person and still in need of guidance from their parents. they're able to do many more things than they could as a toddler and have much more independence, but are still limited in some ways... teens are no longer children, but not yet full adults. they are caught in a liminal space that can be very frustrating for both parent and child. really successful parenting can show great fruit at the teen stage... i heard a parent tell me that as their child grows up they hope that their kids will have the necessary skills and abilities to make the right decision without having to directly tell their child what to do.

in some ways i feel kind of like i'm at the teen stage of life in my faith. God is giving me this space to go and live out these principles He has been teaching me and is cheering for me to live with integrity and godly values. He wants me to be able to live an abundant life without having to directly tell me what to do every second.

i am excited for the future stages of my faith where i have learned to find my rhythm in life and have learned to find a proper balance of trusting the truth God has taught me, and still seek His guidance. i know for a fact that I cannot live abundantly without the help of God. i can see how my foolish teenaged pride is creeping into my faith and i am trying to just do it from memory.

i know that when i am more of an adult in my faith i will be more like the adult who has come to that full understanding of their parent's wisdom and joyfully seek their guidance and counsel. i need to get to that place where i am living my life while being true to my faith in every aspect of my life, but also doing it from a place that is fueled by God.

blah blah blah... does this even make any sense? i havent blogged in a while. hope it made sense. gotta do groceries! life calls!

i'm still alive!

2009-10-27T07:11:00.000-07:00

sorry for not posting in a while. life has been nutty! but i got married! and it's great! i hope to get back on top of the whole blogging world soon!

heaven.

2009-09-21T17:45:00.000-07:00

haven't blogged in a while. i'm getting married in 5 days so things have been nutty! but i've been thinking about heaven and hell quite a bit lately and the one thing i often hear from people when the topic comes up is how can a loving God send people to hell?

when i think of heaven a whole bunch of images flash through my mind. i picture a place with bright white everywhere. really clean. high ceilings and cool stuff everywhere, kind of like ikea. angels are flying around like pigeons but not annoying anyone. cloud cars. lots of chocolate. tons of space. lots of smiles... everyone so happy its like they're all drugged or sedated. in some ways it's like a giant insane asylum but with really good food and a bit more music and colour.

throughout my life my picture of heaven would change based on my context. in elementary school i would picture heaven as a 24/7 gym and art class with all my best friends. no stinky kids, no annoying kids, no bad kids, no bullies... just me and my crew. i would be happy and all the things i wanted would be at the tip of my fingers all the time. when i grew older i would picture heaven involving way more material possessions. every want i've ever had would be satisfied in an instant. ferrero rocher chocolates growing in gardens. i would have tons of money.

Is that really what heaven is like?

The Bible seems to tell a whole different story of heaven. it's all about God. He is the center of attention. it's all about Him. not about me.

Now i'm not a young child anymore so i think i get that heaven isn't a 24/7 gym and art class... but i still wonder if i have a false idea of heaven. today as a more mature christian than i was a few years ago, i still learn that some of my ideas of heaven don't line up with what heaven is described as in the scriptures.

i think we all have these twisted pictures of heaven that aren't necessarily true. to be honest i don't know if anyone of us can know for sure exactly what heaven will be like. looking back at my ideas of heaven as a child i realize God had nothing to do with it... it was like this place you go if you were good enough and nicer than most. heaven was the reward for not being a serial killer, rapist or bully.

On my spiritual journey over the last few years I have been discovering the great news that heaven is way more than a place where the good kids get to play in peace. it's this place where everything is just.. right. by place i don't mean just a physical place. but a spiritual place too. Jesus told His followers that the kingdom of heaven is both in this age and the age to come. heaven is both now and there. eternal life means life... continuing forever. not life, death... then BAM. heaven.

i'm not sure if any of these ramblings are making any sense... but basically the more I walk with God and learn about Him and who He has made me to be, the more excited I get about going to Heaven where I get to hang out with God. constantly. forever.

from what i've read in the Bible, heaven seems to be all about God. praising and worshiping HIM, marveling in His presence... if you aren't remotely interested in learning about God or checking out Jesus, why would you want to go there anyways?

anonymous

2009-08-12T19:13:00.001-07:00

my friend tiff is funny. here are two snippits from an email she sent me tonight from her vacation in mexico...

"On the way here, I sat between two channelers, meaning two people who want to channel aliens or ETs messages to humans on earth. They were reading a book by a famous Channeler out loud to each other. I had prayed earlier that hey, maybe God would use me on this trip and give me a chance to share my faith. WELL... the two women, both who had been married once or twice, and their kids were in the seat infront of me were from California (go figure) but they asked me what I believed and when they found out I was what they called "An Involved Christian" they asked me loads of questions and wanted to know about scripture and how it lined up with some of the things this CHanneler was saying...

I made friends with a beautiful 5 year old named Nicole who is Spanish, but is deaf, and we've just hit it off. She, unfortunately deleted all my pictures (within one minute of her looking at my pictures and asking who-what everything was in spanish and with some sign language) . but she's soo cute, and we can communicate together and it's sweet because I can use sign language, and she needs speech help, and I got to show her some signs she could use with her grandparents and then they can better understand each other!. Her grandparents took us for a drive through the city, and showed us around, so Nicole and I are good buddies now. she also loves my dad. the poor man has thrown her in the pool like 100 times. Also... 5 year olds can be too much energy. As much as I love the girl (they{re in the room a couple down from us)... she{s quite the handful"

what i love most about this is how i think my friend Tiff is an example of how this gospel of Jesus is spread. even while on vacation.

Tiff is just finishing up her masters in Speech Language Pathology in London, Ontario and it just makes me smile really big because even when on vacation, she asks God form Him to use her... she has a huge heart to serve others and then God answers in that cool way He does and blesses both the people being served, but the servant as well...

He opens her eyes to some needs that she can meet based on the gifts and training that He has prepared her with, and then both parties benefit. what do you call that in biology? a symbiotic relationship?... some people look at things like this and just think it's a coincidence, but i believe God plans all of these wonderful little things.

reminds me of the quote by Albert Einstein "coincidences are God's way of remaining anonymous"

some might say by chance tiff sat between the channelers, by chance she meets this girl who is deaf, by chance she is in a country that speaks spanish while last year she worked with a ministry that traveled through spain, by chance she knows sign language...

i don't believe in chance, i believe in God. He is good. so good!

adventures on the bus

2009-08-11T21:51:00.000-07:00

had a fun thing happen on the bus that i think needs to be shared.

so, i'm sitting at the front of a bus in rush hour. its pretty packed. if you're a regular on public transit in ottawa or most cities you will notice that people usually keep to themselves. lots of people reading a book, lost in their music from their ipod, occasional chatterbugs on their cell phones, a snoozer etc...

but today, this interesting lady was sitting across from me. she looked like a typical 'downtown crazy'... she had one of those rolling luggage cart things that she lugs her treasures around in and is off on an adventure to some place... really interesting lady. sweet sunglasses. orthopedic high heel shoes (never seen those before. they were sweet)...she had a rosary on her wrist and she was mumbling all these things about God to the people in the bus in french and in english. stuff like "if you don't follow Jesus you will die"... i might be misquoting her but it was something to that effect. she continued to mumble stuff but i just picked up a word here or there because she was going in and out of french and at this point in the day my brain is fried. something about sinners and repenting...

whenever i see people like this i always feel a little bit awkward.

at first i'm usually filled with rage because i think they are insane and are dirtying the name of Jesus... but then i wonder if maybe there is something i could learn from them. i would never share the hope i have in life with people like that, mostly because i don't really think it lines up with the way Jesus shared hope with people. buuuut! you never know. i usually just stop and pray when i encounter people like this because i just feel so awkward, and feel really awkward for all the people around me. it's like they're your crazy relative that you feel the need to apologize to everyone for their strange behaviour.

anyways, everyone on the bus seemed to totally ignore her. i was totally intrigued and pretty much just stared at her hahah...

well she got up from her seat to prepare to get off the bus... in five stops hahah... but she charged right through a group of people standing on the bus and just got right near the door... then the bus would stop. the doors would open, and new people would get on the bus and have to pass her and her kart of treasures.

then right before my stop the driver hit the breaks. (downtown rush hour traffic!) and this large woman who was sitting nearby but just got up to head near the doors yelled out "JESUS CHRIST!!!"

the large lady almost fell over because of the sudden stop, but i was just beside myself! i thought it was hilarious. i wish i could have seen the kart lady's face at this point.

at this point i got off the bus and just smiled. i usually feel pretty offended when i hear people use Jesus' name as a swear word, but this time i just thought it was kind of funny because she probably had no idea how rude she was being... but neither did the kart lady!

ahhhh downtown life. i love it.

believe.

2009-08-08T20:24:00.000-07:00

i've been thinking about the word 'believe' quite a bit lately. we throw around expressions like "i believe in freedom of speech" or "i believe in the loch ness monster" or "i believe in gay marriage"...

today the word is used when something is accepted as being true or real, or to have firm faith in something.

many christians will say they 'believe' in God.

what do we really mean by that? are we saying that we believe God is real and true? or maybe that we find the concept of God simply appealing. "yeah, that's a nice thought. i believe in that! hooray.."

i think we have come to exchange the concept of belief for merely "liking the thought of"

when you look at the early church and some of Jesus' first followers... they were hardcore believers. they didn't just like the thought of Jesus being God. they BELIEVED He was and is the real deal and their lives SHOWED it. they had firm faith in Him, convinced that He IS truth... and this was shown through actions and decisions, the way they lived their lives, the people they spent time with etc...

i looked up the word believe in my fancy shmancy concordance. for those of you who don't know what a concordance is, its a really sweet book that has every word used in the Bible and it gives you the original word used before it was translated to English. in the new testament the most commonly used word for believe is the greek word pisteuo. i love this word.

it means to put one's faith in, with an implication that actions based on that trust may follow.

we need a word like that in English.

do you need to read that again? put one's faith in, with an implication that ACTIONS based on that trust may follow.

BAM! i love it.

i think this is what true faith in Jesus should look like. something modeled in action, not just uttered with words.

if you are one of those Christians who thinks they are all fine and dandy because they prayed the prayer and did some rituals they were advised to do but don't demonstrate in any way that you pisteuo in God then i hope you take the next step and start walking like Jesus walked.

if you say that your security is in God but your actions hold up a stronger argument for the fact that your security is in your own hands, and not the hands of God, you might not actually believe in Jesus as your God.

if you say you believe in the teachings of Jesus and claim that He is the way the Truth and the Life but you neglect the poor, ignore the needy and contribute to marginalizing the less popular members of our society, you probably don't believe in Jesus' teachings and do not believe He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life.

oooooh man. there is so much more to belief than liking the concept of something you hear. to truly believe in something i think you need to back it up with some action... otherwise it's just words.

i want to be someone who without even opening my mouth people can look at the way i live my life and they can't help but say, "wow. that kid believes in God"

i want the things i think about, the things i talk about, the people i spend time with, the things i spend money on, the way i talk, the way i treat my (soon to be) wife, the way i parent my unborn children, the way i talk to strangers, what i talk to strangers about... ALL of it... i want to show that i BELIEVE in God.

what about you? what do you believe in? what is the driving force in your life? how does that compare with what you tell people is the driving force of your life? if someone were to look at your life on paper, how would they finish the sentence: "this person believes in _____ "

night time nugget

2009-08-04T20:02:00.000-07:00

i was on facebook tonight and God gave me a fun little nugget for these amazing ladies i used to do ministry with in St. Catharines...

hope God has something in it that blesses you!

long time no chat eh? well God just gave me an encouraging word for you ladies. i miss you guys and was just having a bit of an urbana stir up in my heart.

i know some of you are making massive leaps and bounds in your life and God is pushing you into new places you never imagined you would be, but some of you might be struggling through life wondering if you ever truly walked with God (hope not! but it's possible), well i have hope for you because i find myself going back and forth between the two! whenever i get stuck in the second option and i doubt my faith, God tells me to remember that it's GOD who began the good work in us, and GOD who will be faithful to complete it! We so often talk about having faith in God and totally forget that HE has faith in us. Jesus entrusted us with His mission on this planet! how insane is that!?!

i had a really cool picture come to me last night as i was journaling for the first time in a really long while. it was the picture of my child washing dishes in a basin by Charlotte's feet in our kitchen. it just spoke so much about God's kingdom to me because in this vision Charlotte could totally take care of all of the stuff in the kitchen, cooking and washing dishes etc... but in this picture she cares so much for our child (this is in the future, don't worry, we don't have a baby on the way yet haha) that she wants the child to feel like they are part of her work, and as they join her in her work, they learn about her, and learn really valuable skills that will come in hand down the road... i think this is really similar to the heart of our Father in heaven. He is SO capable of doing all of this on His own, but He loves us so much that He WANTS us to join Him and experience it with Him! SO much blessing in joining in on the work of the Lord!

i find that really encouraging and calming because i've been going through a lot the last few days really struggling through life, but what is amazing is i know God is here and my spirit isnt crushed! its amazing and i just want to praise Him.

i havent chatted with many of you in a while, but know that your focus on the Lord at Urbana was real! so real and encouraging to me! i had a really tough time when i was in leadership that year at BCF but the seven of you were gigantic encouragements to me and everytime i was discouraged God would tell me to open my eyes and see the growth and fruit in each one of you.

so! wherever you are right now, if you need some hope I pray that God does the same thing for you, opens your eyes and gives your spirit a bit of a hug!

Miss you seven! hope you are doing well. if you have a minute fire me off a message letting me know how your walk with God is going. How are your decision making tendencies guided by God in a practical way, what is He teaching you? What are you struggling with? What lies are you believing about God and how He views you? whats goin on??

blessings on you sisters!
jon juane

food for thought

2009-07-23T18:23:00.000-07:00

i had a really interesting chat with a great friend recently about church... we were talking about church and he was telling me the things he liked about his church. Intrigued, I asked more, and sooner or later he started sharing the things he didn't like so much...but when I asked him what his thoughts were on the person of God, he struggled to give an answer.

what i find is so interesting is that there are so many people who go to church and pay detailed attention to all these things around them but miss out on the massive God right in front of their eyes. most people have no problem identifying and talking about church politics.... what people are wearing, who is dating who, who is sleeping with who, no problem at all noticing and criticizing what songs or hymns are or are not being sung, easily recognize who is singing off key..... buuuuut the whole time totally fail to pay ANY attention to God.

why have we become SO distracted that we totally neglect Him and forget the reason we are there in the first place? it's kind of rude don't you think? it's like going to a little boy's birthday party. you chat it up with all of the birthday boy's friends and family, eat their food, play some games and leave with your lootbag. you could have had a good time, could have had a miserable time... but if it is all done without even greeting the birthday boy himself you totally miss the point of the birthday party in the first place! it's not about you! it's not about the other people at the party either! and even though people might argue me on this one, it's not all about the food either! it's really supposed to be about the birthday boy!!!!

it just doesn't make sense to me! church should be a time when believers can gather around to recognize the one, amazing, true, and worthy God. if you open your Bible and meditate on a few nuggets of truth from a teaching of Jesus you should have enough ammunition to be filled with awe for God. All over the Bible you can find amazing stories showing His amazing nature and personality, and easily discover how everything about Him is incredibly captivating and worth paying attention to... unfortunately, something is up. we divert our attention elsewhere and it just doesn't make any sense...

if you're someone who goes to church regularly, seasonally or never, i want to ask you some questions to cause you to REALLY think about God... How has He shown His love to you in your life? Who is He to you? What is He like? What are ways in which you secretly, or not so secretly feel neglected by Him? what lies do you believe about Him? What truths do you know about Him? what does the expression "Jesus loves you" mean to you honestly? is it just something for a bumper sticker or is it something that you have come to know deep in your heart and has freed you and continues to heal you from all your baggage?

man. we all have baggage. do you know that God is an expert baggage unpacker? church church church... it's all meaningless if Jesus isnt found at the center of it all. He is the head of the church. He is why church is church.

BAhhhhhhhhhhhh

Walk with God

2009-07-19T10:44:00.000-07:00

i have a few friends who are really struggling through their walk with God right now and i truly share in their pain right now. God has been really encouraging through this whole process though because He is constantly reminding me of these people and giving me amazing reminders of life and encouragement for them. i am really being blessed by this. today after church i wrote this to a good friend and thought i should post it on here in the event someone would be encouraged in their walk with God by the truths of this good news gospel!

Hey I just got this amazing truth from God today at church I want to share with you. It really resonated in my spirit as a message to bless you so I pray you receive it with joy and thanksgiving because our God is good!

We are going through Galatians at church and last week we started chapter 3 where Paul corrects the church in Galatia by reminding them that God’s spirit was given to them because they believed what they heard, not because they observed the law.

“I would like to learn just one thing from you: Did you receive the Spirit by observing the law, OR BY BELIEVING what you heard? Are you so foolish? After beginning with the spirit, are you now trying to attain your goal by human effort?” Galatians 3:2-3

This verse combined with two other verses, one from Philippians and one from Revelations really renewed my mind to start thinking properly again.

1- “being confident of this, that HE WHO began a good work in you WILL CARRY IT ON TO COMPLETION until the day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1:6

Did you catch that? God was the one who started all of this transformation in us! It is HIS work, not ours. Our transformed lives have nothing to do with what we have done, it is HIS mighty work in us.

2- “Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love. Remember the height from which you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lamp stand from its place.” Revelations 2:4-5 (to the church in Ephesus)

This one really struck me. I was reflecting on the time in my faith where I had the most enthusiasm for God, I was loaded with raw authentic fire. I knew His spirit and was running to Him. Picking up the Bible was easy, singing His praises were easy, smiling at church was easy. So what was so different about then and now? Some might think I was naive or young in my faith... but i beg to differ. I wasn’t trying so hard. I approached God as Jesus encourages us... faith like a child. I didn’t have the answers, I was eager to learn. I was in awe of God. and that place is not that hard to return to. I journaled the other night because i slip back into a slump on a weekly basis but in my journaling time I talked with God and asked Him to remind me of all the people He has used in my life to bless me and teach me about Him... it was a really amazing experience. I didn’t even finish the list because i was just overwhelmed with love and awe. It brought me back to my first love and i was okay again.
Last week was a really big reminder for me because i think its really easy to fall into the trap of thinking following God is about doing everything right. crossing the t’s, dotting the i’s... i think i fell into the false understanding that following Jesus is about how many things i accomplish on my holy checklist.

the good news of the gospel is that it’s not true! following God is the total opposite! That’s what we dug into this morning!

“So the law was put in charge to lead us to Christ that we might be justified by FAITH”

i love this truth! We are not justified by observing the law! We are not justified in crossing the t’s and dotting the i’s... we are justified by faith in Jesus. The whole point of the rules is to help us recognize our desperate need for God to be our saviour and save us from ourselves! We need to be reminded and remind each other that He is a good God. He is capable of saving us. He is trustworthy and faithful. He is loving and gentle. He alone knows true justice. He is amazing and Holy, set apart from any other god or created being. He is the CREATOR, nobody made Him. HE IS.

when we compare ourselves to the one true God we should recognize how small we are, how powerless, how insignificant in comparison. BUT for some reason, He loves us soooo madly that He goes through amazing lengths to let us know of His love, and how HE thinks we are significant and special. maaan this is really stretching stuff.

Anyways, to summarize I hope if anything you get this great message that we are not justified by our observation of the rules, we are justified by our faith in Christ. a faith I know you have, you just need to be reminded of it and remember that even when we forget He is faithful, He is still faithful and good! Let Him save you and complete this great work He started in you!

love and blessings my friend. I am truly praying for you and cheering for you through this struggle.

-Jon

HOLY

2009-07-17T20:36:00.000-07:00

the word Holy means to be set apart.

God is teaching me a whole new chapter in my understanding of Him and this one is called HOLY.

I'm listening to an amazing audio book by A. W. Tozer called the Knowledge of the Holy. I strongly recommend. It's written in older english so it takes some getting used to with all the thou and haths... but i'm really being blown away by this challenge to recognize how Holy God is.

Sometimes when i'm outside and i see a bunch of ants running around doing their business, carrying crumbs and building whatever ants build, i feel like i'm really huge... but then i look up and see a really massive tree i recognize how small both the ants and i am in comparison to the tree. i think this is a healthy way to picture God, because nothing is as big as him.

I don't think about it enough but He is SO BIG. if i were to stand beside the CN tower in Toronto I would feel so small, but what is amazing is in comparsion to God, the CN tower and I are both in the same category. God = BIG. CN Tower, jon, ants, trees etc = SMALL.

I really like this book it's stretching my concept of God. He is SO SMART. knows EVERYTHING. loves unconditionally. perfectly GOOD. totally uncreated. exists outside of time. He is HUGE!

RELIGIOUS

2009-07-09T20:02:00.001-07:00

RELIGIOUS.

that word sends chills up my spine. it connotes psycho fundamentalist blind sheep who care more about fighting for their beliefs than living them out.

don't throw that label on me.

BAH. read this book by Bruxy Cavey ... he is a pastor of a church for people who aren't into church. interesting man.

the whole religious label has always bothered me, and i know many other Christians feel the same way. it's interesting though how difficult the whole label thing can get. "oh you're a Christian?" "OH you're a Christian?" "oh YOU'RE a Christian?" "oh you're a CHRISTIAN?"... see how the Christian label took on a different meaning in each of those sentences?

i've come to learn over the last few years that many people who are into Jesus have all these different expressions they use to try and be different from 'other' Christians... basically they want to use a term to redefine a word that has in many ways been butchered over the years.

follower of Christ, believer, 'i have faith' , 'i'm not religious, but i'm into Jesus', Christ follower, fisher of men, blah blah blah... most of my church friends on facebook have things like this on their profile... but you know what? the real Christians in this world need to stop letting the lame wolves in sheeps clothing steal our name. We're Christians.

We may have encountered Jesus in different ways, but when we truly heard His great message and were overcome by His love for us, we started a journey of trying to give up our lives in exchange for the life He offers. We don't go to gay people's funerals and protest like these LUNATICS who are trying to dirty up our name, p.s. i think they are disgusting and so far from the heart of God. We serve the poor. We do not have all the answers, we aren't perfect, we are not all the same... but we are inspired, motivated and loved by God.

It might not be COOL to tell you i'm a Christian, but I think the minute Christianity becomes something that has to do with coolness it becomes .... counterfeit Christianity.

I'm learning great lessons from God about Identity. Christianity is helping me learn more about who God is, more about who I am, and at the same time my appreciation for who God is and who I am is growing. A fantastic friend of mine has a great mother who sent me a message yesterday that I think is great.

Her and her family really express what I think Christianity is supposed to be about. This is what she said "being everything God made you to be is the best form of worship because that means you are in agreement with God in accepting the person He made you to be."

I just really like that because I think it really resonates with scripture and how when Jesus encountered people in the gospels, he would often touch their souls in a way that gave them a sense of worth that even they forgot or never knew they had. The Samaritan woman at the well, the leper, the outcasts and sinners... ahh... God is a beautiful thing

Jesus isn't sexy, but He speaks life freeing truth

2009-07-07T20:51:00.000-07:00

i was struck with this insight recently that i think is pretty profound and i wanted to share it with you.

it came from a great conversation i had with my sister and brother in law around the church. it was a very bruxy cavey "end of religion" kind of talk and i found it to be so rich in insight on the areas we are missing the point when it comes to Christianity. bruxy is a really great speaker and i enjoy his unconventional appearance and powerful message. it makes a lot of people turn their head when he says that Jesus came to abolish religion... I haven't dug into his book yet but i'm sure i would like it. there are a lot of creative and resourceful things in his ministry that i shout amen at.

anyways, back to the insight.

i was getting really frustrated with this position i find myself in. it's almost like i feel the need to defend the church. in the Bible Jesus refers to the church as his bride... but when i look around and see representations of the church and the people who claim to be part of His church in media and in popular culture i want to barf.

ever heard of the hate group that call themselves "westboro baptist church" in the states? these people are insane and totally miss the point of Jesus' teachings.

HA! Jesus' teachings... something that is overlooked in religious discussions. most conversations about christianity revolve around the hot topics like same-sex marriage, power hungry leaders in the church, the crusades, scripture being mis-interpreted and used in support of slavery and opression of women... all the bad stuff! but what about the GOOD?

what about the Mother Theresas of the world? what about the fact that most charities in existence started by people who had a relationship with Jesus Christ and felt compelled to make a difference in the world and show compassion to a suffering world? what about all the good Christianity has brought to this planet?

well it just isn't sexy is it? it's not exciting to turn on the 6 o'clock news and see a community of followers of Christ serving the poor, homeless and rejected members of society. it doesn't break records of ratings on television... it's more fun to poke fun at the loonies that call themselves followers of Christ but have no idea what that means. it's funny to watch ridiculous hypocrites, and in many ways might even boost our self esteem because in comparison we don't seem so bad ourselves...

"at least I try to live a good life, be nice to others, support cancer research..." we tell ourselves.

AH!!! enough! we are spending way too much time focusing on crap we don't need to be focusing on. take five minutes and read one of Jesus' teachings. it's compelling stuff. He paints a picture of a beautiful kingdom that trumps all other earthly dynasties and kingdoms that have ever existed. His kingdom is expanded by love, not physical violence. it's about serving not enslaving. about freeing not imprisoning. about abundant life, not mundane purposeless routine. it's compelling. it's real. it's true.

so yeah, my insight was that this whole Christianity thing... when you really study the source of it all... Jesus Christ (His way of life and the kingdom of heaven He preached about) i believe that journey of really looking intently at Jesus will bring you to a point where you either have to be blown out of the water, throw yourself on your knees and give your life to Him in loving service, or you become deeply offended, roll your eyes in doubt and fear trying to prove a beautiful thing to be ridiculous.

people who chose option two have gotta be careful though... because Jesus just miiiiight be the real deal. His followers screw up all the time... I am one of the biggest mistake makers... so don't judge me when making your decision on whether Jesus is God or not, look at HIM. ask Him to show himself to you. He will affirm it with signs and wonders! He did for me!

Feeling Called

2009-07-02T08:07:00.000-07:00

call·ing (kô'lĭng)

1. An inner urge or a strong impulse, especially one believed to be divinely inspired to accept the Gospels as truth and Jesus as one's personal savior.
2. An occupation, profession, or career.

"i just don't feel like i'm called to go there... wouldn't God give me some sort of desire to go there if i was 'called'?"

a sentence i have heard too many times...

it drives me nuts.

Christians use this word to describe a divinely appointed mission from God to go somewhere or do something... yesterday afternoon God gave me a nice little reminder about God's 'calling.'

the book of Jonah starts of with God flat out telling Jonah that he is to go to a city called Nineveh and proclaim truth to an unbelieving nation. pretty awkward and tough task eh? can you imagine what that would feel like today with our obsession with religious tolerance and how socially unacceptable it is to impose your religious beliefs on others?

brutal.

the text even shows how brutal it must have been because Jonah freaks out and tries to run away from God... after a series of unfortunate events he ends up in the belly of a whale before he realizes that there is no point in running away from God, he should just go and do it. then, God gives him a second chance.

a second chance.

i like that. i know i have doubted my calling on certain things but God is gracious and patient and has given me second chances. i'm so thankful for that. i was disobedient and ran away from an opportunity to go to Central Asia two years in a row... but then i finally said yes to God and went, and i'm so glad i did. it was an amazing experience.

what are the things you know God is calling you into but are too afraid to admit it? what are the things about God that you have forgotten that are causing you to doubt His provision and faithfulness to support you in your needs? When Jesus sent out His disciples in the Bible, they were told to go with limited supplies so they could depend on God and the generosity of others. just GO and trust in His provision. stop trying to do things out of your own strength with your own supplies. your mind is too small to contain God's master plan. trust Him and just go with it...

otherwise you might end up in a whale, and you might stay there. or... you might not get a second chance to say yes to God. that would suck

JOURNEy

2009-06-23T19:30:00.000-07:00

i had a sweet reminder from God tonight on my way to bridges...

"focus on the journey, not the destination."

I love how Jesus was so focused in His life here on earth... He knew what His purpose was, but never neglected the details on the path leading to his final moments on earth. So much of the books Matthew, Mark, Luke and John are loaded with passages that start with "As Jesus was passing through"

That came to be a great lesson God taught me through university.

So much of university is about getting to that diploma. getting to that high paying post-university job in my field... but then the four years at university come and go and all you're left with are memories of you rushing through life.

that might be one of my biggest regrets as a child... not taking wise advice... "Be a kid, don't grow up so fast"... but I just wanted to be a big kid! and then when I was a big kid I didn't want to be a kid at all, I wanted to be matuuure.. pffff. overrated.

getting back to the passing through idea though, i'm realizing right now that my life is starting to have a lot of these "destinations" pop up... my wedding being a major one at that... But if I truly embrace the good news that Jesus has for me, I should know that there is no point in worrying for tomorrow... it doesn't REALLY matter if the wedding invitations aren't perfect and if the fonts aren't centered blah blah blah... God has blessed Charlotted and I with this incredibly journey to marriage where the two of us are given an opportunity to prepare ourselves for a life of submitting to one another, a life of serving each other, and a life of supporting one another in all the adventures and opportunities that God has planned for each other... sweet.

i'm getting tired. my thoughts might be coming out in ramblings... but yeah, Thank you God for reminding me that the real action happens in the journey, savour that. soak it in. the destination is often romanticized and overrated. especially when it comes to earthly destinations.. because once you get to that destination, its all about getting to the next one! the cycle never ends!

Happy? Father's Day

2009-06-21T09:03:00.000-07:00

To a 'fatherless generation,'

I just got back from church... a little bit pissed off at the world but not too sure how to let it out because it’s socially unacceptable to be pissed off at church.

Every fathers day i am always a little reluctant to get out of bed and go to church... after the service most people have to run along to their father’s day brunches at Swiss Chalet where they probably present their dad with a hideous tie or some sort of power tool that will most likely sit on a shelf rather than contribute to building one...

....can you tell I'm a little pessimistic today?....Father’s day.

If there was a day in the year i could skip it would probably be father’s day. it just feels like the world is sprinkling vinegar on my eyeballs... and then when i scream cubes of salt get lodged into my pupils... ok, maybe not that harsh, but the graphic detail was meant to build emotion hahah. Seriously though, I find it absolutely devastating that there are millions of people around the world who probably feel the same way (in varying degrees of annoyance I'm sure). I wonder if it has ever been as bad as it is today? Our society has normalized broken families and eugh. it makes me sick. We have been labelled the fatherless generation.

You’re probably anticipating a cliche statement like “but then i found the Lord Jesus Christ and He introduced me to my Heavenly Father and all my pain is gone forever yada yada yada...” right?

well, no. my pain is as real as it’s ever been and although a lot of my hurt is buried and God has been doing a lot to help me work out all of my issues, i don’t know if the repercussions of growing up without an earthly father will ever go away completely. i am confused as to why i am one of those people in this world who just doesn’t happen to have a father on earth to call his own. I'm thankful that God has helped me out quite a bit by providing me with an amazing mother and sister who were able to cover me with so much love that i didn’t end up messed up like Michael Jackson and his now-sold Neverland Ranch... creeeepo.

but yeah, as i started writing this i got a little teary eyed. i still feel robbed of something i think i deserve and I'm concerned for the repercussions it could have on the rest of my life.

could growing up without a father or positive male role model in my life cause me to be horrible husband to my soon-to-be-wife? This morning’s conversation with her on the phone seems to feed into that fear. there are millions of things i am still learning about what it means to be a loving husband and i wish i got to see that growing up, then maybe i wouldn't feel like I'm constantly failing? or maybe i still would. who knows.

will the fact that i never had a loving father to observe growing up cause me to be a major disappointment to my kids one day? maybe?

What is amazing is that through all of this worrying i still feel God close by... He is validating my concerns and feelings, yet staying far enough to give me space to let my rage out, cry my tears, grumble through my cynical thoughts... and close enough to give me hope.

The good news message of the Bible is that I am not a fatherless child. I do have a Heavenly Father, and although it doesn’t replace the role of an earthly father, He provides me with a relationship no earthly man could provide unless he was God himself...ha... good one Jon. Jesus was an earthly man but also God himself at the same time... nice.

So yyeaaah, God. ..

He is not a father that on a bad day I can just give him a hug and cry onto his strong shoulder and physically feel his comforting embrace, but He is a Father that never disappoints me.

He is good.

He always knows what is best for me.

He provides for all of my needs.

He knows me better than I know myself.

He has faith in me.

He is not high maintenance or overbearing.

He protects me from harm but at the same time is willing to let me make mistakes to learn valuable lessons.

He loves me so much that he has even let me walk away from Him and then welcomed me back in an instant when I realized what a huge mistake that was.

He forgives me instantly.

I don’t get in trouble from Him if I don’t call Him, or remember everyone BUT Him on His birthday.

He always has time to listen to me, and always cares.

He knows all of my friends by name and loves them unconditionally.

He encourages me to be who I am.

He comforts me when I'm sad and celebrates with me when I'm joyful.

He is MY heavenly dad.

SO in conclusion i just want to wrap up with a bit of a wish or prayer to you...

to those of you who still have earthly fathers that love you. enjoy your day today with your dad and be thankful for a gracious God who has given you a dad who loves you. i encourage and challenge you to offer him grace when he messes up and disappoints you, and hope you never take one moment of your dad’s presence in your life for granted.

to those who have lost your fathers and to those of you who were abused or abandoned by your fathers... i don’t really have the answers to life’s big questions of why things like this happen. I don’t know why you don’t have a dad you can hug today but I do know that you’ve got a Heavenly Father that loves you and is there for you. I hope that today you can spend some time with Him and receive a different kind of relationship that earthly parents just aren’t equipped to handle.

Happy Fathers Day

PRRRRRRAISE THE LOOOORRRDDDD

2009-06-17T20:34:00.000-07:00

Quick updates on life

-found a sweet church

-Char and I are probably going to Portugal to teach in September 2010

-I feel like God rescued me from Egypt, had me wandering in the desert... and now im being delivered into the promised land as i learn to walk in sabath rest... probably makes no sense to you but its what God has been teaching me over the last few years and months and i can explain more later

-Honeymoon is BOOKED! woo hoo! One week in mexico and then one week in England for sweet fellowship with Char's(and my) friends from when she was in teachers college there... I miss them

-My two best friends married eachother in May and it was the coolest experience of my life. they had the coolest wedding ever and they might even go to Portugal with Char and I... the thought of that happening makes me want to explode with tears. i miss them so much and the thought of doing life with them again in community... woooh

-God is speaking to me in a loud way and i'm getting fired up.

-The Holy Spirit is moving like CRAZY in Ottawa... i've been connecting with all these amazing young adults from all over the place and God has brought them to Ottawa to join in what He is doing... Friday morning i'm joining a bunch of young adults as we pray on Parliament Hill before work... i'm excited and eager to hear from God in a powerful time of prayer

-My nephew is awesome. i wish i saw him more, and im happy i live in Ottawa now, but it doesn't seem like much has changed from when i was in st. catharines... the east end is so far and life seems so busy!

-Wedding day in just over 3 months!!!

and.. its my bedtime

CHURCH...

2009-06-16T19:43:00.000-07:00

Praise the Lord! I think my hunt for a church is DONE! I found a great community here in downtown Ottawa with a deep appreciation for scripture, a heart for addicts, the lonely, broken and poor... a community oozing with God's love... it's called Calvary Fellowship.

AND what's awesome is I found it by stalking a guy on a bus.

seriously. but i'll get to that in a minute...

OK. so here is a little backstory...

I learned in my first year of university that you cannot live your faith alone. God created us to be relational beings. We need brothers and sisters to help us up when we fall down, to sharpen us as we sharpen them (those Bible scholars who are reading this... are you following my references to genesis and proverbs??)

since leaving St. Catharines I have really struggled to get connected with my spiritual family in Ottawa... I knew there had to be believers in Ottawa... I just wasn't sure where to find them or how to access them... I have some friends from churches in Orleans and some who attend a church called the Met (used to be downtown but they have moved and its really far to get to)... but I wanted to join a faith community close to where I live and work.. in the centre of the city.

I was looking for people who are real about their faith. no division between church life and personal life... people who share the gospel of Jesus Christ because they believe it, have experienced it, are experiencing it and live it!

I am hungry for what the early church had. In the book of Acts the church "devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer" (Acts 2:42)

LOVE IT! that's what I need... people devoted to the scriptures, truth! God's word and sound teaching. friendships and conversations centered on those things! good food, earthly and spiritual. and. great communicating with God.

SO... one day i'm at the bus stop and i see this guy wearing a shirt that says "Calvary Fellowship"... "interesting" I thought to myself... definitely looked at him to judge how uptight he looked... but he seemed legit. he had a bmx bike and looked like a cool young fun person. i wanted to be his friend immediately hahah....

then suddenly I hear him talking about ministry to this guy sitting beside him... they were talking about how long they had been "walking with the Lord".... my heart jumped! ive never heard people talk about stuff like this in ottawa...

I got on the bus and sat right across from them hahaha...

I didn't want to be rude and interrupt but I had to find out where his church was... so right before I got off the bus I asked him where his church was and he gave me a postcard with the church's information on it.

this was the beginning of a fun adventure so far that got me to e-mailing the pastor of the church who is awesome... meeting lots of really down to earth and authentic young adults....

ahhh my heart smiles.

tonight i went to a thing called bridges which is basically church for the homeless... there is some singing, teaching of the Bible and then a free meal. i got to go and serve people food. it was the highlight of my week so far.

after bridges i got to go for coffee with the pastor and a friend of his and was just totally blessed by their company. i feel like i am finally myself again... i've missed this feeling.

there is something i feel that is so difficult to put into words... but when i'm doing the work of the Lord there is no better feeling inside. I get to work with the creator of the universe. He teaches me about Himself. His love for me and the people around me... both the people i like and despise... He shows me the great things he has placed in me and also reveals the crap inside me that needs to go... If this is what eternity with Him will feel like i think i'll explode.

My God is great. He really is.

amazing talented friends!

2009-06-14T20:44:00.000-07:00

i just looked through my two friends' flickr pages and i'm so overwhelmed with their talent...

i truly believe God has given them both eyes to see beautiful things in this world and capture them in photographs. some people might not think photography is a "pure" art, but when i look at their work i believe it's as pure as it gets.

if you have a minute check out their pages! really interesting stuff!

this is Brittany's work from our friends wedding in May (my two best friends married eachother... best wedding ever!)

and this is Brian's

ahhh... i love creative friends.

Identity reclaimed

2009-06-11T20:14:00.000-07:00

I am pretty sure most of the world's problems stem from one issue: Identity Crisis.

in the beginning, the first humans had an identity crisis... that's what caused them to slip up and forget for a second that God is great, provides for us in more ways than we need! that He loves us, is trustworthy... is powerful and... well, God.

the last few months i have described to many close friends as a bit of an 'Egypt' (i've felt a connection to the israelites being enslaved in egypt) i wonder sometimes how tempting it would have been for them to give up on God... to forget His promises for them... and in the process how simple it would be to lose sight of their true identity... wouldn't it be easy to forget you are a chosen one of God? wouldn't it be really difficult to tell yourself you are more than a lowly slave when everything you do everyday seems to tell you that you are not special at all... your life has no purpose?...

yeaaah... that's been my struggle. all these transitions in life have me struggling with the truth that my God is GOOD. my God loves me and has an abundant life for me to live if I am willing... my life has purpose. I am not a slave to an unfair dictator, I am a servant to a really great master.

so yes, today i go to bed thankful for a great God who is so good to me. as i get plugged into a new faith community here in Ottawa I am slowly coming back to life, remembering who I am... as I learn more about God and have conversations with other people who know my God I find I am able to be myself again... ahhh it feels good.

Your life frees me to sing

2009-05-13T19:48:00.000-07:00

some late night ramblings for you...

I realized today how desperately I need to be connected to a faith community if I want to live out this life of following Jesus... love for the unloved, attention to the ignored, time for the lonely etc... i'm going to need friends and spiritual family to help me out when i fall down

since moving to Ottawa i've been really struggling to find a faith community with believers whose passion does not shut down when the hymnal gets folded back up and slotted back into the little shelf on the brown wooden pew sunday morning.

i miss my friends and partners in the gospel back in st. catharines. six years of studying scriptures with wide-eyed university students excited for the plans God has for them really fired me up.

it was easy to get out of bed when i knew what my purpose was... i felt like the things i did with these students had implications that were really impacting the kingdom of God here on earth...

the transition to full time work was rough and i didn't realize what a huge part my faith community played in my spiritual and social nourishment... and i also had no idea that spiritual and social nourishment are incredibly important to me keeping a healthy work/life balance...

today was one of those eye opening days where in my lack, i realize how much I have in God... i can appreciate everything He gave me, and now that it has been taken away, i recognize the amazing need for it... so hopefully when I find a new church family, I will never take it for granted, and continue to use those relationships for their kingdom purposes. far too many church relationships are centered on anything but God... boooo. no wonder the people who visit and come to check out church are totally freaked out and/or turned off... the regulars who go there have no idea why they're really there!

ahhh...God is great. today He gave me lots to smile about.

great song you need to listen to right now: Victory Chant (Hail Jesus)- Donnie McClurkin

I have hilarious friends

2009-05-13T19:47:00.000-07:00

this was in my inbox... had to share, it is very GOODNEWS related.

TO THE PERSON WHO LOST THEIR JOCK STRAP: You can sleep easy tonight, because I FOUND IT.

It was right where you left it. In Chapters, on top of a pile of puzzles. I'm sure you were worried about its whereabouts, but rest assured, it's been found. You're probably kicking yourself right now! It happens to the best of us, man (or man in transition). Sooner or later, we all take our jock strap off in a bookstore and leave it lying out on top of a puzzle of Michelangelo's "Creation of Adam." I hate when that happens!

Now before you all come charging forth claiming it's your jock strap, let me describe it so you'll know if it's yours or not:

* Contains a black cup.
* Said cup is held in by fabric that is currently torn and being held together by a safety pin.
* Sweaty.

Be safe out there! You're unprotected, so stay out of harm's way for the time being. You can claim your groin support device at the Chapters Belleville lost and found between the hours of 9:30am and 9pm.

Sincerely,
Brian St. Denis

oootttaawaa

2009-04-30T19:17:00.000-07:00

so i moved.

it's sweet, i love ottawa. its been so long since this has been my home and its amazing how God has been making it really clear that HE is the one who brought me home.

the book of Esther is great. God isnt explicitly mentioned anywhere in it... but if you have faith and read the book, you can't help but see His fingerprints all over the place...

the same goes for Ottawa i think. God is moving all over the place, but political correctness seems to be a bigger priority here so I don't hear His name being spoken as often or explicitly... But He is here and it makes me smile

peace

2009-03-27T00:29:00.000-07:00

reconciliation feels good.

Is this what the "good news" has become?

2009-03-09T21:26:00.000-07:00

fighting the case of the marginalized? spending time with the lonely? loving the unloved?... naaaah. that's all too much work. LET'S SETTLE!

"lets just talk about the marginalized and write essays on them"

"or! we can send a cheque to some overseas project in that country off in that land... i forget the name of it. you know? the one that's hard to pronounce near the war torn country? yeah... just send a cheque. i gotta run over to costco in my SUV just to pick up some things... we have no food in the fridge and i'm starving."

"i would totally go and help those homeless people but they smell and are probably on drugs and might steal my purse"

"oh no! that baby crawling through the intersection is going to get hit by a car! it's a good thing w are on the sidewalk right in front of the baby and God opened our eyes to see this!... we can PRAY for that baby and ask God to bring someone to save the baby from getting hit by a car! let's hold hands and be UNITED on this"

"well, he doesn't deserve to be treated nicely"

EUGH. God may you open our eyes to our hypocricy.

Have you ever thought about how many grocery stores there are in your neighbourhood? ever notice when you walk through the aisles... the produce department especially... just how many different places in the world the food comes from?

and what happens with the bruised fruits and vegetables? or the meat that doesn't get purchased? or the milk that passes it's best before date before being sold?

and then think about all of the countries in the world you hear about in those incredibly depressing infomercials... "for just 40 cents a day, little Ming can eat a bowl of soup, a cup of rice, have clean running water for her and her 13 siblings, and attend school..."

what the frig?! how are entire countries left in poverty... and the people who live there can't afford to buy the food they produce... but we have stores FULL of THEIR food and tons of it goes bad before anyone gets to eat it!?

this is wrong. it's all wrong. we need to become the answers to our prayers.

ISAIAH 58. come on God! help us do this! we are SO not focusing on the things that matter! and we are overlooking the things we are doing that oppress our neighbours! we need you to save us. we're messeddddd upppppp

challenges to focus

2009-03-03T19:21:00.001-08:00

ok so my life is kind of all over the place right now... but it's sweet. because i actually feel God telling me to calm down and trust Him.

church on sunday was fantastic. the pastor used this analogy comparing life to driving. you can check out the sermon called "imagine the end" on the connexus website...

it's funny because sunday i realized why i feel like i'm sucking at life... when i went for my first in-car lesson for drivers ed a month ago.. i sucked. why? because i don't know where to look! my eyes were all over the place! i was paranoid and freaking out every five seconds thinking im going to hit someone or get hit! what i need to do is look where i want to go... lead with my eyes... my driving instructor told me to but i was too scared i was going to hit something. i need to trust.

in the same way, my life is a disaster and im worrying about all this stuff i don't need to worry about. i need to get my eyes set on where i want to go... and trust God. so simple but so hard to do!

kind of ridiculous that it's so hard to do though... because i've done it before. many times in fact... and everytime i surrender and trust God, things fall into place.

for example... i've surrendered my job and told God that i trust Him with wherever He wants me to move... and then... i got an email saying there was availability in the ottawa offices...

SO after some re-testing for my bilingual certification and paperwork... I'M MOVING HOME! woo hoo. why do i ever doubt you God? you made the universe... you would think i should trust you with something as simple as my life! sorry God.

plankeye

2009-02-25T15:29:00.000-08:00

I just finished watching my brand new Nooma Video by Ro b Bell that came in the mail today from Amazon... i like Noomas. i like Rob. i like amazon.

anyways... it's a great video and what i deeply appreciate about Rob Bell and his books and videos are the way he challenges people to think.

the other day i came across something that really broke my heart... a guy on youtube has dedicated a huge chunk of his time "warning" christians to be wary of certain preachers...

it makes me want to puke.

why do so many people waste their time pointing to other people's faults, over analyzing statements, taking them out of context, creating hysteria and paranoia... honestly... chill out.

the new testament is loaded with letters teaching us how to test false prophets. the Bible warns us of people who come in the name of Jesus but are not of Him... wolves in sheep's clothing almost. but the thing is, the Bible gives us great tools to test these people: check the fruit of their ministries. how do they live? do they apply their sermons to their own lives?

If you're looking for someone like that, i encourage you to check out Shane Claiborne. the man has good fruit. he is a fantastic, earthy, strangely wonderful follower of Christ with a whole lot of love inside of him.

buy his book, or better yet, buy the audio cd and put it on your ipod and go for a run like i did... best run ever. i went out for a 30 minute run... ended up running for 1 hour 45 minutes. inspiring stuff. it was hilarious actually... i was running along the welland canal and tears came to my eyes as he talked about meeting Mother Theresa... i looked like a complete lunatic because i was overwhelmed with appreciation for God, I started running with my arms in the air... tears running down my face... then a rollerblader passed me. freaked me out. and i resumed regular running position. hahah

but yeah, back to my point about this youtube guy. i wish he would just chill out. why does he need to hate on Rob Bell so much? when we spend so much time criticizing eachother and disagreeing with the details of what he is teaching and miss the larger picture then we miss something really great that is going on! a lot of Rob's ministries are helping reconcile people with tons of religious and spiritual baggage back with the creator of the Universe, GOD!

i personally feel convicted of doing a similar thing with local church pastors... just criticizing them for doing things in ways i think could be done better, or for saying things that i think should be worded differently...it's like God is saying " jon. chill out. clean the plank out of your eye and then worry about the dust in your friend's eye. once your eye is cleared of the plank you will be able to help your friend even better because you can see clearly."
this nit picky eye sight problem is probably one of the biggest diseases in the church today that creates wedges of dis-unity (is that even a word?) in the body of Christ. for the record... i don't have pinkeye in this picture. i took it christmas eve before i went to bed because my allergies where intense because of my mom's freaking CAT. who has CATS anyways.

the apostle Paul was hardcore about unity in the book of Philippians. it was something SO important to Him... unity in Christ. having God be the common link... what a sweet picture the church would be if we worked harder at building bridges than wedging people away from eachother.

If you've seen the Nooma video "Tomato" then would you agree that plankeye syndrome is something that needs to DIE?

create.

2009-02-23T15:28:00.001-08:00

i was in New York over valentines day with my fiancee... i love that city. there is so much character everywhere. it's so distinct and eclectic. ahhh New York...

it oozes with creativity. you know, that's something that i deeply appreciate. creativity. it just stirs something inside me when i see something really cool, thoughtful, beautiful etc...

i think creativity is something that God gave us. the Bible confirms it! the first book of the Bible starts with "in the beginning, God created..."

i'm sure i've said this before in previous blog posts but the first 5 words of that book blow my mind for two reasons.

1- in the BEGINNING God created (God exists before the beginning... my brain can't grasp that!)

2- in the beginning God CREATED (the first thing the text tells us is that He creates. He is creative! amazing!)

then it goes on to say that God created humans in His image, or in His likeness... there is something about US that is like HIM! cool eh?

creativity. something we as the church could do a better job of living out... (now, notice how i say WE as the church... i am getting really frustrated with christian people who complain about the church and talk about it as if they are not part of the problem) yeah... that's my new challenge for life... take risks. create! allow God to be my creativity...

does that even make sense?

it does to me, ha. hope it makes sense to you.

basically... all you people who don't think you are creative... stop! God is creative. He made you in His image... create. just try. the more you practice and take risks the better your creations might turn out...

maybe. maybe not. just try and let me know

I am...

2009-02-03T18:57:00.000-08:00

When Moses asks God His name, and God says "I am who I am" don't you kind of wonder to yourself?

I picture myself at a Bible study ....studying Exodus chapter 3, and we're going through the passage... so many interesting things to wrestle with and think about... but the confusing stuff is just so much easier to glance over isn't it?

"I am who I am"

what kind of answer is that?! God tells Moses to tell people "I AM has sent me"

hahah that's nuts. it doesn't even really make any sense grammatically. or maybe it does and i'm just stupid. but the point is, i don't really get it. couldn't God just give Moses a name? "Don't worry about it Moses... tell my peeps they can call me JEEEE-zus"

but no. God is "I AM"... pretty profound actually... let me explain why

Ralph Waldo Emerson said "To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment."

The world is full of people who are trapped in a life that could best be expressed as a giant identity crisis... how many people really know who they are and are confident in that? Fearless, bold and comfortable with their whole being. Mind, body and soul. The good, the bad, the ugly....

Not many last time I checked. When we get really honest with ourselves, pre-teen girls are not the only people on this planet struggling with their identity, body image or self-worth... to a certain degree all of human kind is. Our world is full of people who are trying to prove something, either to themselves, their parents, co-workers, bosses, teachers, significant others, the world,.. anyone!

A lot of us care too much about what other people think about us! Other people's opinions often shape and construct the way we see ourselves... and a lot of the time we're really confused. At least I know I am...

How many times have I climbed up and down the rollercoaster of self-confidence?

1- I put myself out there and share an idea with a group of people. after sharing my thought I sit down and feel really good about myself... I'm happy that I overcame my fear of failure and took a risk and shared something I thought was worth sharing...but then I get some feedback from a member of the group.

2- Person A thinks I talk too loud, too often, and my voice hurts their ears. Next time they suggest I try sitting down and let someone else share their ideas....

crap. Their cutting comment eats away at my insides and I spend every second thinking about how horrible and humiliating it was to get up and share my idea. I start to wonder how other people view me and suspect most of them think i'm an obnoxious member of the group. My ideas suck and I should never talk.

3- Person B comes along and then notices me having an internal mental breakdown and sits down beside me. I say nothing but they start encouraging me on the idea I shared with the group thanking me for having the courage to stand up and share my thoughts with everyone. The tell me that they felt inspired to do the same and next time we are in a meeting, Person B wants to share some of their own ideas as well...

whaaat!? what just happened? maybe i don't suck... maybe i am creative and have good ideas... maybe...

you get the point.

basically internally i'm a giant doubter. i have no idea what is inside me. no idea what kind of potential i have within myself... no clue what God sees in me... sometimes i might get a glimpse of it, but it is no way as certain and confident as "I AM WHO I AM"

wow.

this God of the Bible is a really interesting one don't you think? He is the God of no identity crisis. He IS. and the mere fact that God doesn't give Moses a name that makes sense just shows how GOD-like God is! HE is GOD! He can't fit in a box! He can't fit in our minds! our imagination, country, OCEANS! GLOBE! UNIVERSE! GALAXY! NONE OF THEM CAN CONTAIN HIM!

ahhhhhhhh

We can think whatever we want about God, but none of that has the power to change the fact He IS who HE IS!

i love it.... does this make any sense to you or is it just blabber?

The Unites States of... Egypt?

2009-02-01T18:42:00.000-08:00

So i'm reading this book by Rob Bell called Jesus wants to save Christians ... i just figured out how to link things. sweet.

sidenote: for a year or two i was the only person who commented and rated his other book Sex God

cool eh?

anyways, so im reading this book... and it is quite interesting so far, i'm really enjoying it. yes i know my punctuation is awful for this post. deal. you're distracting me from what i was saying... the book! right, so he basically is running through the Bible and connecting the ancient scriptures to a context that makes sense for our culture.

i love it.

how we have failed so miserably at that... bah! but it's okay, i think God is doing something new and fun in the world with His church... anyways! I got really challenged with something and I want to know what you think about it..

when talking about the book of Exodus, Rob Bell brings up the fact that the Israelites are enslaved by the Egyptians... well mostly Pharoah, but still... Egypt is the superpower of the world and the Israelites are powerless, oppressed and slaves to this superpower...

well.. if we consider our society today... how different is North America from Egypt at that time? we are a superpower of the world, forcing third world nations to slavery because of our ridiculous consumption habits! we are using most of the world's resources! it's nuts.. i can't even count how many articles of clothing i own that were made in different countries because outsourcing is cheap and profits are high! bah! this is horrible!

i know free trade is good... but when I read stories of Jesus in the gospels, He offers something WAY better than free trade... i want that! i want to know what it is, and i want to know how to jump on board.

i have a feeling Shane Claiborne kind of gets what Jesus has to offer this sollution... the problem is to live out this ordinary radical life requires courage, risk and trust in God! something i seem to be lacking... hmmm...

Men of faith? where are you?!

2009-01-30T16:25:00.000-08:00

so the superbowl is just around the corner, and i couldn't care less. i've never been that huge of a sports fan when it comes to watching sports on tv... with the exception of the olympics. i love the olympics.

i like to play sports myself, just don't love to watch them... i like being on the field, running after something, in the game part of a crucial play... too bad God didn't bless me with supernatural athletic power though haha..

one thing i've been thinking about when it comes to professional sports though is how amazing these athletes are at taking risks with their bodies and lives... these athletes throw everything on the line for a win... for the most part, really intelligent, calculated risks... lots of effort but not too much effort you know? they push their bodies so they can get stronger, but not too hard because they might get injured..

the Bible is loaded with stories of MEN. strong men. dumb men. smart men. strange men... but REAL men... i love reading stories of men who triumph over weakness. who don't let their mistakes or sins hold them back from living abundant, God-honouring lives... Men who take risks. crazy, bold, courageous risks that payoff...

when i look around today, why do i have a hard time finding these men? i know they exist, and i know they are out there... but the men i see in our society are celebrated for their physical triumphs, their intellectual triumphs, their financial triumphs... but i want to celebrate the men who don't just risk their bodies on the field... i want to celebrate the men who risk their lives in the office. in the classroom. on television.

men who stand up for women. men who care for the opressed. men who cry as Jesus cried. men who love with a love from above. men with vision and courage. men who recognize who they really are. men who are not swayed and influenced from the masses around them.

i want to see the modern day Zacchaeus who climbs a tree to see above a crowd with the hope of catching a glimpse of who Jesus is. i want to see the father of a messed up son run towards his kid in an undignified way, embracing him and crying for joy! i want to see a man like Peter who doesn't allow the fact that he denied Jesus 3 times stop him from living out a brave and influencial life in the Kingdom of God.

ahhhhh

God, help us men BE those men today!!

i see many young women in the church today who are strong, bold women of faith just like the ones in the Bible... but they seem to outnumber the men in the church who resemble the strong leaders of our faith!

lets do something about this!!

old world or new world

2008-12-18T11:50:00.000-08:00

when i was in Regina for work, we did this exercise where we looked a bunch of images like this and described what we saw... this is an old one i remember seeing in grade two and being really intrigued by how there were two pictures in one!

anyways, i was reflecting on this.. and it's so much like this world we live in. if you turn on the TV to the 6:00 news, chances are you will hear some really mind blowing tragedy... i mean, lets be honest. this happens every day.

with the new economic crisis going on i'm reminded even more of how the world is "falling apart"

but is it really? is it any different from the world we lived in 2000 years ago?

from history it seems as though people have always been suffering and tragedies have always been striking societies... but we rarely hear about the things worth celebrating in the world.

we have the tendency to be SO negative. it's almost as if we have come to believe that being negative and pessimistic is "realistic"

well, i have to disagree on that one.

reality is much like that picture up there. it has the old and the new. it doesn't JUST have the old lady or JUST have the young lady... but you can choose to focus on one or the other.

in the same way i will strive to look at this world and accept that there is good, and bad. but with all my might i will try and focus my eyes to see the potential for this world and call the life out of death on this planet. the stuff here worth living for. i believe with all my might that Jesus did the same thing. when He saw this world and saw the depravity, He must have smiled and said "this is worth it."

Darci Lang wrote a book about focusing on your 90% or 10% and it has the exact same idea... come on people! lets refocus here. earth is not a lost cause. humanity is not a lost cause. the church is not a lost cause. you are not a lost cause.

God is good

2008-12-17T13:51:00.000-08:00

You know what? God is good.

even when we forget. or stop believing. He never stops being good. that's one of my favourite things about Him.

unlike any friend or human i know, He is always dependable. and always good.

it's funny how tough it is for me to trust Him though, to do what He says and believe it's good... everytime i give it a try, things usually turn out for the better... so why do i make this so difficult?

new books!

2008-11-30T22:13:00.000-08:00

just bought 4 new books! i hope they're good!

-becoming the answer to our prayers (shane claiborne and jonathan wilson-hartgrove)
-jesus for president (shane claiborne and chris haw)
-crazy love (francis chan)
-jesus wants to save christians (rob bell and other dude)

what to read first...

apathy sucks

2008-11-24T20:34:00.001-08:00

i had a sweet chat with a co-worker the other day. we were talking about marriage and love and she said something very wise.

hate is not the opposite of love; hate is just an emotion.

i loved it because it's so true. love isn't just an emotion... at least that's what the Bible has been teaching me. it's something way bigger. something linked with action and the giving up of one's self.

i've heard people say the opposite of love is indifference. i might have to agree.

indifference and apathy fills me with rage. i have no patience for fence sitters. it bothers me when people don't care about anything. have no passion. what the frig is the point of living if you're going to live it sitting on a fence.

there is a certain friend of mine who breaks my heart. their indifference or inability to show they care about things really pisses me off. but i'm choosing to refuse to let that apathy bring me down anymore. because there are people in this world who don't give a crap, i will choose to care more.

who decided it was cool to not care. idiots

if there is one thing i hate more than apathy and indifference in others, its apathy and indifference in myself. sometimes the 'i don't care' bug can catch you and before you know it you climb onto a fence to join the rest of the lame fence sitters. well, i refuse. i'm going to make a difference in the world around me whether you believe i can or can't. OR whether you care or don't. suck it "FRIEND"

AAAARRGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH

hahaha.. i'm really not bitter, just learning to turn frustration into productive energy.

I'm the change I want to see!

2008-11-12T18:33:00.000-08:00

MAN! i'm exploding right now.

do you ever have one of those days when you realize your true potential? or at least get a glimpse of it? well i'm in a bit of a season of that if you will... God is reminding me over and over that He made me... and as i dialogue with Him more and more i am quickly learning SWEET STUFF about who we ARE

in Matthew Jesus tells His disciples that they ARE the light of the world. that is so powerful. they are so powerful! its just a really profound statement. in Genesis God speaks and says LET THERE BE LIGHT! and the poof... light. its one of the key elements of the world we live in... and Jesus tells the disciples.. You are the light of the world! i could think about this for hours! i love it!

this world is totally capable of change... we need to believe it, and we need to believe that we ARE those instruments of change. how inspiring is it to see Obama win the election!? oooooh man!

ive been learning a lot about faith and unbelief... in Mark this guy tells Jesus that He believes, but needs help with His unbelief... this has been a huge verse in my life the last few years.. i mean i believe in Jesus but i have unbelief towards the church. I believe He is a good God but i have unbelief in how He seems to want to redeem this world. I believe in the dynamic people who have strong leadership skills but have unbelief that the world could change with a quiet mousey person... God has been showing me my unbelief and i have been praying for Him to get rid of it! and SWEET things are happening!

I am learning to see positive things in this cruddy world. the Good in our ever-so-flawed church. strengths in "weak" people... ahhhh Jesus is giving me those eternal contact lenses and its sweeeeeeeeeeeet!

man! this isnt just for me! its for you too! im serious! you don't need to be envious of happy people! you can be happy too! im JUST learning this now... joy doesnt come from living someone elses life, it comes from living the life you were made to live!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO i need to go for a run i can't handle this

new thought on forgiveness

2008-10-10T22:47:00.001-07:00

five seconds ago God just gave me a revelation on why i'm not doing my job right as part of the church.

The story of Jesus and the symbolism of His death and resurrection are pretty complex things surrounding forgiveness i think... anyways I really feel like God is telling me that I am so quick to receive His forgiveness for my mistakes and poor decisions.. but when a brother or sister is in need of forgiveness i first extend them a massive sentiment of disappointment, judgement and disapproval. What i need to do is extend them forgiveness and love and sympathy! FRIG!

when someone confesses a poor decision to me, or i see them make a poor decision... my eyes change somehow and suddenly the bright light formerly looked at them with dims to a less than thrilling shadow..... they seem less valuable in my eyes or something. ...i think twice about them.... but God who knows us FULLY... (a concept that in itself is hard to grasp my mind around) looks at us with Love and forgiveness. that is really huge.

me looking at people: i see their faults and decide they dont deserve my love and think they have less value

God looking at people: sees us for who we are and loves us.

what the frig.

that is intense. i want to know that love and i want to have that love so i can give it.

what would happen if a good friend of mine from church told me he got drunk a few months ago, went to a bar and met a girl and had unprotected sex and is concerned he got an STD (or i think they are now "STI"s) and the random girl he slept with is having a baby...

ahhh. i have no idea but probably would not hug them with joy and excitement and start planning a baby shower...

like that is some huge heavy stuff... and as someone who claims to know GOd, i SHOULD respond in a way that honours God HOWEVER i probably would judge him either internally or externally and verbalize it... brutal. i want to change this because its not right. this is why the people God loves thinks GOd hates them... because people like me are forgetting His amazing love! baaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh

you never know..

2008-10-09T20:15:00.000-07:00

so i think its so amazing how God's tiny drops of pure love ripple and create tsunami's of love and purpose.

tonight i hung out with two really amazing friends of mine who are getting married soon. there is something really cool about a couple you just want to shout "YES!!!" to! do you know the kind of people i'm talking about? because if you don't you need to meet these people. i just admire how much God is oozing out of them! they are the kind of couple who make a difference in the Christian community. they arent another useless couple who call themselves christians and happen to be dating... they are two people who are attempting to live dangerous lives full of great risks and purpose and love! and they bring out really good things in eachother. a good balance that creats a sense of wholeness.

anyways, i just think a cool thing God taught me tonight on a deeper level is that you never know what kind of impact a small thing you do can have on the world. this might be too much of an inspirational oprah-esque post tonight but i really believe it to be true.

many times you will probably do something nice for someone and then five minutes later not really process what made you do that nice thing.. you just did it right? well... i am starting to think that is God. the quiet but crucial voice inside you that opens your eyes to the places He wants you to step into. places of injustice, lonliness, poverty and the mundane...

well.. this friend of mine i had dinner with tonight did a lot of that in university i think... he might never know how important a five minute chat we had a few years ago here and there opened up a whole lot of unimaginable things... his example in life and leadership was something i really admired and getting to chat with him just gave me an exciting sense of purpose and value that propelled me into a place where i find myself doing that for other people... and the ripple gets stronger!

my God is a powerful God who is taking these little drops and making big waves! ahhhh its so exciting!

iron sharpens iron

2008-09-15T07:08:00.000-07:00

okay. this is a quick one because im at work and about to run upstairs to do a french oral exam.

but God is incredible and has been teaching me so much about the value of community in the whole spiritual journey.

just reading Christine's comments to my posts is evidence of what im talking about here... its amazing that God has given all of us OTHER people to sharpen us as iron sharpens iron... thats in proverbs somewhere.

anyways... i've been blessed by amazing students i've been interacting with on campus, just learning from them in the way they are puting their faith in action. amazing conversations that LEAD TO LIFE CHANGING ACTIONS...

for a while i was all about the good chats... but there is more to abundant life than chats. it needs to be followed by actions. Jesus didn't JUST teach his disciples in conversation... it was paired with practical life examples... and i believe He is still alive walking with us day by day wanting to teach us those lessons, and teach them to us in community.

even though some of the people around me seem like morons, i need to humble myself and learn from them. I need to remember that God is the one with the wealth of knowledge, and i need to just allow Him to teach me through everyone and anyone. If i don't allow myself to learn from others then i think the real moron is myself.

teach me!

philippians are everywhere

2008-08-18T06:46:00.000-07:00

this morning i found myself hungry for God. at work i plunked in 'biblegateway.com' in my web browser and eagerly awaited the verse of the day... a bit of inspiration from God to help me with my dry and scaley faith. i feel spiritually parched...

its like im on the 23rd km of this race and the sun is beaming. my legs are tired and i'm feeling empty looking around every corner hoping there is a water station around the bend... a sip of spiritual gatorade.. some living water.

anyways, the verse was the ever-so-simple yet complex statement by my favourite Christian killer... the apostle Paul.

"“For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.”- Philippians 1:21

uh... yeah. whatever that means pauly.

but seriously. its back to that eternal contact lens thing... i feel blinded by the sin in my life. perpetual sin. and by sin i mean those things in my life that i do to declare independence from God. they aren't inherently "BAD" things all the time. in fact, a lot of them are great things that God has given me or made for a specific purpose... i just choose to do something else with it. often self gratifying stuff...

for example its like God gave me a canopener so that i could go to the foodbank and help all the families open their cans of soup to feed their families, but instead im using the canopener as a hammer so i can build my own boat to float on in the middle of lake.

im so selfish.

anyways, God needs to do an intervention here... and i need to focus on what He wants me to ACTUALLY DO instead of dwelling on the stuff that i do that He doesnt want me to do...

make sense? kind of a poorly phrased thought but basically i need to refocus and consider what im running towards and stop feeling paralyzed by the millions of things i think im running away from.

its like if i was in an abusive relationship and i was focusing on leaving that relationship and just kind of going anywhere... there is good in that for sure, i mean you are leaving an abusive relationship right?... but what would it look like if i focused more on running TO a healthy relationship or an organization where i could use my experiences to help other people in a similar situation... small shift i think, but significant difference.

hope youre having a great monday, God is pleased with you. let that one soak in for a minute... He knows everything you have ever done... and still loves you. thats a big love

quickie

2008-08-08T08:48:00.000-07:00

last night we finished our study on Philippians...

frig. i was really challenged with two things...

the idea of allowing God to be what strengthens me and the idea that everything God gives me to meet my needs are actually for the purpose of bringing glory to Him...

kind of tough stuff to wrap my mind around... but if i truly believe that God is my God... then it would only make sense that my life shows that He is my God and that i follow Him and trust Him and acknowledge that He provides for me so that i can live.

Lazer eye surgery...

2008-07-24T19:42:00.000-07:00

So i've been reading the Bible for a few years now and getting really interesting things from it. one of the biggest things for me is how there must have been a point where Jesus looked at this world full of brokenness,and still decided it was worth dying for. worth saving. worth redeeming.

This world is pretty intense... its got a lot of ...

single moms and broken homes

confused men who don't know how to be a loving or responsible dad or husband because they haven't really seen one before

obese north american adults and starving african and asian children

child molestors and serial killers

wacked out creepy "christians" who protest at funerals

lonely people with nobody to talk to or be listened to

hoochie pre-teens who conform to the identities imposed on them from popular media

suburban planned "communities" where neighbours dont talk to eachother for longer than five minutes in the morning because they're in a rush to get to their morning yoga class which starts in an hour but they still have to drive to the closest starbucks in their gas guzzling SUV so they can grab their friggen non-fat latte on the way.

FRIG

(the list goes on and on)...

but still... according to the Bible, the creator of the universe and His beloved son decided it was worth saving

that blows my mind.

Another guy in the Bible named Paul seems to have a similar perspective. He wrote a ton of books in the new testament and I'm actually studying one of the letters he wrote to a church in Philippi right now called the book of Philippians.

The letter is packed with amazing insights from God about GOOD NEWS! its been a key influencing factor in the creation of this blog. Paul's words have been really influential on the way im striving to live out my faith. He just had this incredible perspective.

He is so positive in midst of his suffering. the joy he has is not limited by circumstance. the guys is actually in prison as he writes the letter and throughout he encourages the reader to rejoice in the Lord... so maybe the guys is a lunatic... or maybe he has eyes that are similar to the eyes of Jesus when He decided we were worth dying for.

To live with a perspective like Jesus or Paul do we need to be blind to the world around us that seems so depraved? i dont think so.

i think we need to open our eyes wider... see that although there is pain in this world... there is healing. although there is sadness, there is great joy as well. although we endured the hanson brothers... we also got the soulful tunes of the jackson 5 ... ok so MJ went a little nutso but he is still a musical genius...

point is... there is good in this world and it comes from God.

i think Paul wore eternal contact lenses. here is a little story to explain what i mean.

so im studying Philippians right? well... paul has this amazing perspective that blows my mind... he is able to see God in all circumstances and be happy about God and thankful for who God is! when im in a crappy mood... im not about to send an email to all my friends to say how joyful i am that God is great... i usually end up grumbling washing my sinkful of dishes as i swear at the dirty plates in the various languages i know.

we went to niagara falls the other day to show my friends from england one of the great wonders of the world. its so interesting how everyone looks at the water in awe of the great power of the falls... peoples jaws drop. camera flashes go wild. people pose.... but do people really know how amazing they are?!

Paul would probably cry for joy because he knows those falls are just an imprint of the greatness of God. the amazing creativity and beauty God is capable of. the same mind that conceived those falls thought of YOU.

ahhh its just amazing really. i sometimes get into that mode where i appreciate this wonderful world and know its worth saving and not worth giving up on... but then i decide to take off those eternal lenses... its like i need divine lazer eye surgery so i can be totally overcome by God... that i would look at smelly useless losers and see the beautiful, brilliant and valuable children of God they really are...

bam. hit me with some better eyes Jesus.

(p.s. these pictures were totally stolen from google. how unethical of me)

woo hoo!!

2008-07-10T13:53:00.001-07:00

i'm an uncle!

reflecting

2008-07-03T12:36:00.000-07:00

so. i don't do drugs. but i think that's cause the Bible is full of some potent stuff... haha seriously.

in Genesis the first line is "In the beginning, God created..."

uh. stop right there.

in the beginning... GOD CREATED?!

what the frig. God existed BEFORE the beginning.

that doesn't even make sense to our human minds.

God existing outside of our understanding of TIME. huge!!!

seriously, next time you wanna light up a spliff... think about how God made time.

sweet article

2008-07-02T10:34:00.000-07:00

maaaan! christine posted this sweeet article on her blog. i love relevant magazine. i want to work for them.

amazing blog

2008-07-02T10:02:00.001-07:00

my friend ashley is the funniest ranger in the world. you just need to read this if youre having a bad day

http://rangerash.blogspot.com/

woah..

2008-07-01T20:04:00.000-07:00

i always do my best thinking in the bathroom.

this just in...

i was wiping my butt and this popped into my head. "will getting married help you love God with everything you have and also help you love others as yourself?"

huuuuge... Jesus talks about that being the greatest commandment... a rule of love. God first, and others as yourself. its a freeing way to live. an abundant way to live. a hard way to live... but one that i think is worth taking a shot at. hence the whole walk with God thing right?
well ive been praying for a while about marriage and i feel like God is really challenging me to get real with the hardwork and commitment of a marriage. its not easy stuff. it requires selfless love, constant forgiveness, and a desire to choose to love in the highs and lows. but if my life is all about submitting to what God wants for me... then i think testing it with the idea of how it helps me attain that longterm constant goal of loving God and loving others isnt such a bad idea.

the other thing i was thinking about was the questions we ask... i notice that in the gospels lots of religious leaders come up to Jesus and try to trap him asking him questions to try and expose his weaknesses... but what's amazing is the way Jesus answers. His parables make me feel like im asking the wrong questions or focusing on the wrong thing.

i cant even count how many times people have asked me what i think about gay marriage... but come on people. its way bigger than gay marriage. i just dont know if making gay marriage illegal is ACTUALLY protecting the sanctity of marriage. look at the marriages that exist today between heterosexual couples. how friggen sanctified are they now between heteros??

ok so all the intense conservatives are rolling their eyes now... but seriously people. lets wake up and shut up for a minute. Jesus really challenged his jewish followers to love their neighbours by making them realize that Samaritans (a group of people who were looked down for being sort of an impure Jewish group of people because their religion was sorta mixed with like Jewish pagan principles- bible scholars correct me on that one if im totally off) were those neighbours. in the parable of the good samaritan his listeners would have been REALLY challenged to take that story in because of all their animosity towards the samaritans. but Jesus was basically saying... hello people! these people were made in the image of God JUST LIKE YOU. they are capable of loving... in fact, they might know a bit more about love than you.

what would it look like if we spent more time as the church learning from the gay community to love unconditionally and be welcoming? because friends, let me tell you... a friggen welcoming committee at your church does NOT solve the problem of your church being unfriendly or self-focused... God working in your hearts does. a spirit of humility does. a genuine desire to make others feel accepted even when you might not feel accepted.... ahhh!! what if spent more time helping people, loving people, and encouraging people instead of competing with people, hating people and seeking revenge???

you know in kindergarten when the annoying fat kid eats your chocolate chip cookies and the teacher doesnt see so you get pissed off and when its play time and you're playing with the tonka trucks you dont let the kid have a turn because you're holding onto the grudge from snacktime but the teacher notices and asks you to share??? well... why are we so hostile to "teachers" now that we are old? why do we let pride inhibit us from living good lives of sharing and forgiveness? when you finally make peace with the chubby beast your life is great because at recess in the winter your hungry friend has your back in a snowball fight. maaan... its all making sense to me! does this not get you excited?
love isnt just for hippies. it's good. it comes from God and it changes lives

where are all the hookers at church?

2008-06-28T22:33:00.000-07:00

seriously. where are the hookers.

when i read through the first four books of the new testament and i see this Jesus guy loving, respecting, and assigning worth to people our society despises, disrespects robs of dignity i am inspired. seconds AFTER reading these stories however i puke in my mouth a little when i realize this is the kind of life im striving to live. the kind of love im hoping to one day help infect this world with... a life of following Christ.

after a sweet spiritual talk with my family tonight i am really stirred by the current state of the church. if a hooker came into church tomorrow morning i would most likely not be the first to make room beside me, in fact i would probably put something on the chair to make sure nobody sits beside me... i do it on the bus every morning, church would probably be no different.

well. that sucks because its gotta change. im a friggen huge work in progress... God's got his work cut out for Him hahah, good thing He is a big a powerful God though. ahhh that gets me really pumped! knowing that God actually loves me enough to want to work in me and help me be that kind of person who is full of His love. huge and humbling.

current internal processing question im asking: who makes you uncomfortable? who do you feel and express love to? how do you treat people who are forgotten or not treated well by others?

oh. AND

my aunty fay passed away on monday. it's pretty sad. but kind of eye opening. i have no idea when i am going to die, but i definitely want to live a full life even if its short. yesterday i journaled about some of my big dreams for my one and only precious life and a lot of them were selfish, but a lot of them were really God inspired... it was actually really cool to write them out and realize that they are all at the tip of my fingers... i need to choose not to settle for a crappy life chasing a paycheque. i know the goodnews. i should know better

dream big friends

Would Jesus buy the alarm clock?

2008-06-27T14:58:00.000-07:00

This is from a week ago! i've been really busy/sick so i havent been able to update! (sorry ash!!)

So I was sitting quite peacefully at the st. catharines bus station listening to my sweet gospel music by Kirk Franklin on my ipod when I was approached by an awkward guy holding a black alarm clock. The poor guy mumbled something and I didn’t really think he was talking to me until I realized the feet parked right in front of me belonged to said voice.

I lifted my head and pulled out one of my earphones to get a better take at the mumbling voice and with a half squinted look on my face let out a concerned “what?”

“…mumble mumble….selling this for five dollars I don’t want it anymore..mumble mumble…”

I stopped for a minute because I wasn’t sure if this guy was serious… but then quickly composed a concise and polite response “no thank you, I am not interested.” Poor guy just proceeded to ask every individual person at the bus stop if they wanted to buy his alarm clock.

One guy he was charging 20 big ones. I felt like I was offered a bargain compared to him. But still, had to let the opportunity pass. Probably something I will regret for the rest of my life… but. K, what the heck!?

He was selling an alarm clock?!

After encounters such as these where I find myself over analyzing and processing my actions and the things I said or didn’t say… I ask the time old question “what would Jesus do?”… I know I know… but seriously. What would he have done? Because I really don’t think he would have bought the alarm clock. So random. He might have offered to trade it for “living water” like he did with the woman at the well, but instead creatively change it to “the living alarm clock”… or something a little more profound….

Point is. The whole thing was quite bizarre… but the freaky thing is, if Jesus lived in st. catharines… he would probably hang out with this guy before coming over to my place. Frig.

I have so much to learn. So much to learn.